Girl Talk
by madame.alexandra
Summary: A collection of conversations between Leia and her best friend. Identity 'verse. Obviously, copious amounts of Han/Leia in the background.
1. Royal Ass

_a/n: so here we will have a small collection of stories, set in the Identity 'verse, that solely focus on Winter and Leia (well, give or take...Rouge may wander in, so may Dansra - we'll see) - and really plotless, basically; nothing but pure sisterly girl talk. sprinkled through the Identity 'verses, those written and those to-be-written._

* * *

 **Girl Talk**

 _"Royal Ass"_

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In all time that followed the destruction of Alderaan – the agonizing weeks and days that dragged on, morning after morning of waking up only to be struck with the harrowing realization that it had not been a nightmare – through the battles, victories, heartache, and personal triumph, one of the single things Leia had missed the most had been her best friend.

It went without saying that she missed Winter – just as she missed her mother, and her father – all of her family and friends; she had ached for all of them, mourned for all of them, but in losing Winter – believing, for so long, that she'd lost Winter – she had been deprived of something so significant, something she never again regained in the ranks of the rebellion.

A close, fiercely trusted female friend – it was a staple of every young woman's adolescence, her coming of age, and Leia had lost hers at the exact moment she'd lost everything else – she had female mentors, female colleagues, even warm acquaintances, women she trusted deeply, but she didn't have Winter, and that had been a wound like no other.

She had, slowly but surely, forged bonds again – cautiously, with apprehension and anxiety, wary and worried constantly that any softening of her hardened heart would be a fatal mistake – she had grown close to Luke, to Chewbacca, and Han – Han more than anyone, and she could call Han her best friend as easily as she called him her lover, her husband, her rock.

Those relationships were valid, were so important to her, and so cherished – yet they never replaced the patrician, battle-born debutante girlhood-to-womanhood closeness she shared with Winter, and in all the years following Alderaan, in all of her time with the Rebellion, she had lacked that vitally important outlet.

She had longed for late nights locked in her room with a bottle of wine, gossiping over nothing and planning pranks that would add more grey hairs to Bail Organa's head – she missed having a confidant who offered counsel and analysis, never judgment – missed Winter's outlandish, racy stories, her cool, wry wit, they way they could speak without words – with only a look – and burst into laughter at a diplomatic dinner.

It was one of those things that she had missed – instinctively, naturally, as she should – but that she had been forced to live without, to move on from; at some point, her heart had deemed it too exhausting to seek out female companionship, and not until Winter was back in her life, pulled from the depths of mysteries and miraculously given back to her, did she understand, down in the most damaged, protected piece of her soul, how much it had broken her to go without this sort of friendship for so long.

A thing as simple as – endless girl talk – was so utterly _essential_.

Han was everything to her – he made her laugh, he was there when she cried, when she screamed, shouted; he slept with her, he talked about everything with her, kept her secrets, understood her faults, forgave her trespasses, loved her quirks – she trusted him completely and told him everything, but there came a point when it just wasn't the same.

She had needed Winter, and what she had with Winter –

Leia was – so extraordinarily grateful that she had her sister – and that is what Winter was to her, regardless of blood – to talk to again.

These increasingly common nights they shared with no men or Viceroys or maids around – ah, well, occasionally Han was around, but he stayed out of the way – made Leia feel young again; unburdened – it was like a taste of who she used to be, in a way that soothed her, rather than tugged her into a spiral of anguish and what-ifs.

"The alcohol content in these Corellian reds is astronomical," Winter remarked smoothly, her head lolling back on the sofa – her bare feet, propped on the table in the sitting room, pressed against each other lazily, lacquered toenails glittering in the sunset that streamed through the windows.

Leia picked up the bottle they had finished off – half-empty when they started – and examined the notation, pursing her lips.

"This one is child's play," she scoffed, giving Winter a wry look around the neck of it. "I have a sparkling dark red from Coronet City that has a percentage that is criminal in some sectors."

Winter turned her head with lazy interest, arching a sharply lined blonde eyebrow.

"Han Solo has a sparkling wine in his home?" she asked, amused.

Leia lowered the bottle she was holding.

"Han Solo's wife does," she retorted.

"Does he drink it?" Winter probed, smirking.

"He drinks what I put in front of him."

Winter laughed, shaking her head.

"You have my interest – sparkling, criminal alcohol; do share," she said dramatically, and Leia swept her own empty glass off the table, retreating into the kitchen to search out the bottle she had in mind, uncork it, and get them settled for the rest of the evening.

"With a glass or two of wine in me, you ought to know why I'm really here," Winter called from the sitting room, taking on a mock serious tone.

"For my scintillating company," Leia answered swiftly.

"If you can still use words like _scintillating_ , you need more wine."

"I believe you just used the word, too."

"I'll be damned, I did – what does that tell you, Lelila? Be hasty with that new bottle of wine!"

"Hastening," Leia fired back.

She fumbled for a corkscrew, and could not find the electric one to save her life. Frowning, she went to rummage for the old manual one Han used to keep on the _Falcon_.

"What's that real reason, Winter?" Leia teased. "You want to sell secrets of my home life to the Media?"

"I have no doubt that the Holos would pay millions of credits for those – and I would never do such a thing – however," Winter paused, and Leia heard her laugh to herself, "it would be tempting to do so just to see their utter disappointment over how boring you and Han are."

Leia rolled her eyes.

"We are not boring," she shot back primly. "We – take advantage of – the luxury of having a quieter home life, since the end of the war – "

"Boring," Winter teased over her, laughing again. "May I remind you that last week when I was over, Han had fallen asleep at the dinner table, with his hair almost in his leftovers?"

"In his defense – he's working fourteen hour night shifts at the moment," Leia answered mildly.

"What remains amusing to me is that you left him there," Winter cackled.

"If you don't stop mocking my domestic bliss, I'll give your wine ration to Han."

"There's a deal-breaking threat, Your Highness," Winter cried lightly – "Girl talk wine is never to be allotted to a significant other!"

"Then why did you steer the conversation towards a significant other?"

"Oh," Winter retorted breezily, "we can talk _about_ the men."

"Is that on the docket this evening?" Leia asked.

She heard Winter drop her feet to the ground hard, as if bracing for a hell of a statement.

"It is the _entire_ docket – do you need help in there?" she asked, her voice getting closer – Leia looked up as Winter came in, carrying her own wine glass with a curious expression.

Leia shook her head.

"In the midst of a search and rescue mission for my corkscrew – continue," she bid gallantly, and gestured to her ears, "I'm listening."

Winter raised her glass cheerily, and leaned against the counter, tilting the unopened wine bottle back to read its contents while Leia continued to look for the opener.

"Yes, in regards to the men, my man in particular, I demanded that we have a wine night this week so I can enlighten you as to the – outrageous proposition Celchu has thrown at me."

Leia grinned, looking up wryly from the drawer she had open – she'd finally found what she was looking for, but Winter's use of Tycho's last name alerted her to the fact that this promised to be a good story, if –

"Celchu?" she quoted. "What has Tycho done to demote himself a surname?" she asked, coming forward to take the wine from Winter and go about uncorking it.

Winter raised her eyes.

"Taken a sudden and abrupt leave of his heretofore quite reliable senses," she accused dramatically, and Leia laughed.

"Noted, Tycho has lost his mind – ah, may I ask what he's done?" Leia asked, arching a brow fairly. She narrowed her eyes suggestively. "He hasn't asked to have another woman with you two, has he?"

Winter, with her wine glass halfway to her lips, paused, and tilted her head at Leia.

"Certainly not. Stars in heaven, the poor man couldn't take it. I am a lot of work in the sack – "

"You've told me – "

"He would have absolutely no energy or time for another woman – "

"Winter, I – " Leia snorted – "I'm kidding."

"I know you are, but remind me to ask you later why the _hell_ your mind went straight to that."

Winter looked at her suspiciously.

"Han brings strange women into bed with us all the time," Leia said blithely, twisting the edge of the corkscrew a little more – it protested and stuck, making a whining noise as if to remind her it was one of Han's old pieces of junk.

Winter stared at Leia, ever so slightly beginning to narrow her eyes, and squint.

"You," she said sharply, "are joking."

" _Of course_ I am _joking_ ," Leia breathed out, glaring at her. "I went there because you," she frowned and looked down at the cork, wriggling the metal around a little, "are a very adventurous woman – I'm hard-pressed to imagine what has you talking about Tycho like Aunt Rouge talks about vibrators."

Winter considered all of that, and then tilted her head, fascinated.

"Have you _heard_ Rouge talk about vibrators?" she asked.

"Once," Leia said flippantly, turning her attention fully to the troublesome corkscrew, "when she thought she found one in my room – she told me I had a finite amount of pleasure in my life, and I ought not to use it up with one of those things."

"I have about ten thousand questions about this," Winter said dryly – "What did she found that she thought was a vibrator – when was this? – And do you think Rouge truly believes you can max out your orgasm quota, or was she trying to scare you into eternal virginity – "

Leia started laughing, pausing in her efforts with the wine –

"I don't – Winter, maybe that's – maybe you _can_ , and Aunt Rouge – "

"Used all of hers?"

Both women dissolved into laughter, Winter topping hers off with a few more sips of wine – and Leia leaned down on the counter, catching her breath before she went back to opening the wine – she started over, and then caught her tongue between her teeth, stabbing the pointy end of the corkscrew into the bottle again – _do your job, dammit_ – she thought, nudging the energy around the thing with a few frivolous tendrils of the Force –

"Alright – your explanation is fair; I am a deviant," Winter allowed, bowing forward a little. "You must be writhing with anticipation over what has offended me."

Leia snorted.

"There's only one thing that makes me writhe in anticipation."

"Han's tongue?"

"Senate briefings."

Winter laughed, tilting her head back. She choked down some more laughter, finished her current glass of wine, and set it aside, leaning down.

"While you fight the third galactic civil war with that cork," she snorted, "I'll regale you with the gory details – _Tycho_ ," she used his name, but darkly, "asked me if he could – ah," Winter paused, raising her brows at Leia's profile, "take me…from behind."

Leia glanced over at her.

"And your concern is – rug burn?" she asked, her expression blank. She pursed her lips at Winter, amused. She highly doubted Winter had never –

"No, Leia, _kriff_ ," Winter hissed. She lifted her chin, cutting her eyes as if slyly checking her surroundings. " _Behind_." Winter cocked her head to the side and gave Leia an exaggerated, wide-eyed look. Leia looked back at her mildly, and Winter reached out and gave her a smack on the ass, glaring more pointedly. Leia jumped a little, looked over at Winter's hand, and then turned back to the wine bottle, intently glaring at the corkscrew.

"Oh."

"Oh?" Winter repeated immediately. " _Oh_?"

She blinked rapidly, and then stood up straighter, folding her arms.

"Is that all you have to say?" she demanded.

Leia, finally able to get the corkscrew to get a good hold and do what it was supposed to, made a small noise of triumph and stood on her tiptoes for leverage, working the cork out. She nudged it a few more times with the Force, smirking at the thought of Luke's response - _you opened wine with the Force? Leia, that's not...what I meant by embrace your powers!_

She felt Winter still glaring at her.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked after a moment of silence.

Winter gave a squawk, and Leia removed the cork with a pop, setting it aside with a little satisfied nod of her head. She took Winter's empty glass, set it next to her empty glass, and eyeballed them for a moment while the newly opened wine breathed.

"Leia, your silence is alarming me."

"I am merely trying to gauge what kind of reaction you want from me," Leia said neutrally.

Winter reached out and tapped her glass insistently.

"Well, I'm not one to lump all women together, but quite a handful of us have an immediate _'who the fuck does he think he is'_ reaction to that particular request."

Leia tilted her head back and forth, silently pouring a copious amount of wine into Winter's glass. She narrowed her eyes and then turned to pour a measure into her own, deciding to remain silent for the time being. She sighed, set aside the wine bottle, and picked up Winter's, turning innocently to hand it to her –

Winter had leaned in so close Leia nearly knocked heads with her – her blonde hair framed her face as she studied Leia sharply, a suspicious glint in her blue eyes, and Leia ordered herself not to turn any shade of red or pink, any at all, that might hint at the fact that –

"Have you done that?" Winter asked bluntly, catching Leia's eye.

Leia cleared her throat and pushed the wine glass into Winter's hand. She looked back at Winter with a slow, calm blink.

"I believe we are discussing you – "

"You have," Winter interrupted – instantly, and assertively, she changed from inquiring, to deciding, and she gripped her wine firmly so Leia could trust her with it, and then wrapped her slim fingers around Leia's wrist.

Leia felt herself turn several shades of pink, and cursed her blood for betraying her – Winter tugged gently on her wrist.

"You march your royal ass back into this sitting room," she ordered.

Leia sighed, and hung her head a little – she bit back a shy grin, and then whirled and grabbed the wine bottle, taking it with them – while Winter led her physically back to the sofa they camped on during wine night.

Leia sat the bottle down, and resumed her spot on the couch, and Winter perched herself on the edge, turning towards Leia seriously, hyperaware. She stared at Leia for a long time, narrowing her eyes slightly – clearly still trying to determine of she'd assessed Leia's silence correctly - and then –

"Speaking of your royal ass," she began.

Leia dropped her head into her palm, giving a protracted groan at Winter's word choice – she shook her head, lifting it, and raising her eyes to the ceiling for a long, prayerful moment before taking a long sip of wine.

"I'm prepared to take your body language at face value here," Winter went on conversationally – "the blush, your refusal to actually look at me," at that, Leia gave Winter solid, intent eye contact and Winter tilted her head, "the fact that you were completely silent when I had counted on commiserating about how presumptive men are – "

Leia bit down on the edge of her wine glass, and then gave a small, hoarse laugh, her brows going up.

" _Winter_ ," she said in a rush, entertained, "I hardly expected _you_ to be this morally scandalized by – by – _that_."

"I am not morally scandalized, I am _practically_ affronted – from a physical logistics standpoint – _Leia_ ," she switched gears, mimicking the tone with which Leia had said her name, " _why_ do you always assume that because I've slept with numerous men, I've done every kinky thing under the twin suns?"

Leia tilted her head thoughtfully, unsure for a moment – she supposed she always had associated Winter's promiscuity – and she never used that word in a negative sense – with extreme experimentation, and perhaps – no, evidently – she had been wrong.

She took a sip of her wine to give herself a moment to think. She hesitated and pursed her lips.

"I – suppose I never thought of it as that outlandish," Leia answered slowly. "There are people who do it every day."

"And what do you know about that?" Winter fired back. "Do you do it every day? Ah, no, I see – you've never had sex the regular way, have you? It's all – "

"Look who is sitting on my sofa, drinking my wine, acting like there is some universal regular way to have sex – Winter, I am ashamed of you – "

"Can we back this up?" Winter interrupted, though she gave a nod and a wave of her wine glass to acknowledge Leia's statement. She leaned forward, one elbow resting on her knee, studying Leia with a mixture of uncertainty and fascination. "The root of my – my real question is, ah – what the fuck?" she asked, laughing a little in disbelief. " _You_?"

"You have never been given a verbal confirmation that I have – "

" _Leia_."

Leia sighed, and tilted her head far to the left, looking at Winter pointedly over her wine glass. She looked down at the shimmery red liquid for a moment, then closed her eyes briefly, and opened them. She inclined her head.

"I have," she revealed simply.

Winter raised her brows, and sat back a little, considering that. She started to say something, fell silent, and then looked more serious, swallowing hard.

"Leia," she started. "You – mean with Han, don't you?" she asked softly.

Leia blinked a few times.

"No, with my other husband."

Winter smiled a little faintly.

"Before I start making a bunch of jokes or ask crude questions I just wanted to, ah, clarify that it was…Han, and ahhm, you – consented – "

Leia drew back a little, grimacing.

"Oh," she said shortly. She waved her hand tensely. "It was Han, Winter," she confirmed. "It wasn't – yes, it was Han. Yes, I wanted it."

Winter sat up, tapping her chin. She nodded firmly, and then narrowed her eyes.

"In that case – and do note, I'm using your words – _wanted it?_ You wanted – are you in your right mind? Who – who _are_ you?" she demanded – and Leia laughed, her cheeks flushing pink again.

Winter shook her head, brows arched skeptically.

"Wanted," she muttered. "There are very few woman who truly feel a desire to be subjected to such depravity – "

"Winter, dramatics."

"Oh, don't mind me. It isn't judgment, not at all – I find exaggerated dramatics to be humorous – "

"I know."

"— and I find it inconceivable that you have done something I haven't, and that it is this."

Leia held her hand out.

"That's why I reacted the way I did!" she defended. "I assumed you had. It caught me off guard that you were so – "

"Firmly indignant," Winter supplied.

"Yes," Leia snorted. " _That_."

"Well," Winter said, deadpan, "I don't get off on deliberate discomfort. It's obvious why men are interested but – to ask me to do it when in truth, there's little chance of me deriving any pleasure seems – ah, selfish – I don't know, I," Winter faltered. "It has always remained a _kink_ in my mind."

Leia shrugged a little.

Winter scoffed and took a sip of wine.

"You're telling me that Han casually asked you to do it and you just – did?"

Leia was silent again, looking down at her wine. She cleared her throat vaguely, and took a very long drink of it, and Winter's eyes widened again as she stared at her friend, her lips parting in disbelief.

" _You_ asked _him_?" Winter half-shrieked, sitting forward, her expression demanding. "Leia – you're – but you're a prude, you've always been – "

"Oh, I'll turn your question back on you now," Leia broke in quickly, her brows going up, "why do you always assume that because I only wanted to sleep with a man I loved that I was only going to do it on my back in a bed for my entire life?"

Leia cocked a brow, and Winter tilted her head, smiling as if she'd just been busted. She clicked her tongue, and inclined her head in defeat, nodding.

"Point taken," she said.

Leia held out her glass for a toast –

"Here we have an instance of you doing the same routine with a diversity of partners and I, _I,_ doing everything with one."

Winter completed the toast, and gave Leia a wry look.

"We're going to stick with the current topic – that's your royal ass, in case you need a reminder – for now, but by the end of this bottle, you will be telling me what ' _everything'_ encompasses."

Leia blushed slightly, and Winter laughed hoarsely, staring at her.

"Explain it to me," she insisted. "The concept is – so unappealing to me – did you read some _male_ -produced smut novel that convinced you it's actually ten times better than the boring old usual way?"

Leia sighed thoughtfully.

"No, it wasn't about that."

"It wasn't about getting off? Leia. What the hell is going on in your sex life?"

Leia gave her a look.

"A lot of complexity, usually," she said dryly – and honestly, because more often than not, that was the case.

Winter sighed, but watched Leia with interest. Leia hesitated, and then sat forward.

"It was – more that, I – Han hadn't done it," she said, "with anyone, he'd _never_ done it," she said emphatically. "Which – I was taken aback by, I thought he'd have – "

"You apparently think everyone is doing this all the time," Winter snorted – "No, it sounds like Han ran across every stereotypical women I am currently representing who told him he could fuck directly off for even asking."

"He never paid for it, either," Leia said, rolling her eyes at Winter. "That's what caught me off guard. I see women not wanting to do it, but in a professional transaction – "

"Ah, fair enough – I wasn't aware Han used professionals so extensively," she said warily.

"He – well, I can't speak in depth to his sexual history," Leia said dryly, "and I won't, for the most part, but he had a couple of – emotionally bad relationships, and he told me that making sex a business transaction in the end, kept him from hurting anyone who wasn't clear on his lifestyle. You know, he didn't want to commit. He was bad at it. So he made it business."

Winter took a thoughtful sip of wine.

"That is…unconventionally noble."

"He doesn't like hurting people," Leia said softly, her brow furrowing. "You wouldn't assume that, at first sight."

Winter nodded, but waved her hand.

"Yes, but – back to the original point – "

Leia cleared her throat, and nodded.

"I wanted to find something to do with him that he hadn't done with any other women – and I," she paused, and took a deep breath, "I wanted to do something with him that – hadn't been done to me, or I hadn't done with anyone."

Winter compressed her lips.

"Didn't you say that Giles never went down on you?"

"That doesn't satisfy the part about Han," Leia said.

"Ah, right," Winter said. "I am glad to hear that – I'd be personally offended on behalf of several women if I found out Han had never gone down on anyone before you."

"Thank you for the reminder, Winter."

"Don't worry, I'm sure he thinks you taste the best."

Leia looked so startled by that comment that Winter burst into laughter – she'd intended to remain deadpan, but Leia looked as if she'd narrowly missed being hit by a land speeder, and the expression was priceless.

"You are filthy," Leia hissed.

Winter gave a squeal of mock outrage.

"You dare call me filthy, when you are the one – "

Leia shushed her, and nursed her wine, and Winter scooted forward, squeezing her shoulder.

"Forgive me, Your Highness – don't, please don't deprive me of the rest of this story."

Leia gave her a moody glare, but softened it quickly, fairly comfortable with going on – there wasn't much to it; she constantly told Winter she did not go into explicit detail with these stories, regardless of how often Winter sometimes did. It was not her style – she liked her privacy, and a bit of mystery.

"That was about it," Leia murmured. "I asked him if he had, he said no, I asked him if he wanted to, he nearly _broke is neck_ nodding," she listed, running her finger around the rim of the glass, "then he damn near had a panic attack at the idea of possibly hurting me, then we did it, and," she trailed off, shrugging, "And here we are."

Winter was silent, processing that.

"When?" she asked.

Leia tilted her head up.

"Hmm, on our honeymoon," she answered.

"Have you done it more than once?" Winter asked.

Leia lifted her wine to her lips. She was quiet a moment, and then, as she took another sip, she gave a small nod –

"Yes," – she said, murmuring the word into her wine.

Winter stared, fascinated. She held up a hand, shaking her head.

"I – obviously have to ask this, you know I do," she warned. "Is it… _good_? I mean – do you – _like_ it?"

Leia squinted her eyes, thinking critically. She wracked her brains.

"Mmhm. So, that's a no," Winter guessed.

"It's not a _no_ , technically," Leia said slowly. "The thing – I, I – you're right, I _don't_ get much out of it. Han's – he's – ah, well, it's never been _bad_ , let me put it that way," she said diplomatically. "He's hyper vigilant about not hurting me. You know, I … knew he'd stop if I told him to. Immediately."

"Sure," Winter said earnestly. "That's all that matters. That's what's important. Ugh, Leia – you're so lucky to have that – Tycho is like that as well, of course, but some of them men I've been with," she said darkly. "Shove my head down, _pretend_ they didn't hear me when I told them to stop something," she shook her head. "You have no idea."

Leia rested her head on the back of the sofa, her expression blank.

"Yes," she said quietly. "I do."

Winter cringed.

"Of course," she agreed, retracing her statement. "You do. Of course."

Leia was silent for a while.

"I don't think I'd say I like it," she answered finally. She shrugged. "I like being with Han, though. I like that I'm the only woman he will ever, _ever_ think of for that – not that I think he compares me to other women." She shifted a little. "There was a lot of – trust involved, and he can just be so sweet – "

Leia broke off immediately; she hadn't meant to get saccharine. She blinked a few times, and then laughed at herself hoarsely.

"Of all things to get emotional about," she joked.

"Who knew, huh?" Winter agreed. "I've never thought of it the way you clearly do," she reflected. "I just considered it a - male-pandering porn fetish, and you make it sound romantic."

Leia shrugged again.

"I've never thought of sex as pornographic," she said quietly. "You know that. It's about…Han, for me. Just Han."

Winter grinned.

"That's sweet," she teased.

"Shut-up," Leia whispered good-naturedly.

Winter sat back, relaxing, and kicked her feet back up on the table. Leia closed her eyes, her head resting close to Winter's shoulder – in the back of her mind, she thanked fate for having Winter need to vent about this, because she had found herself wanting to share and unsure how to bring it up – the years she'd gone without Winter had hampered her ability to just open up to her best friend in the easy way they used to.

After a moment, Winter's voice broke into the silence.

"How many times have you done it?" she ventured.

Leia gave a protracted sigh, and glared into Winter's shoulder.

"You ruined the delicacy of the moment."

"Hans completely ruined any delicacy you try to act like you have," Winter fired back.

Leia laughed loudly, and bit her lip.

"Just twice," she said. "The honeymoon, and his birthday."

"Most women just give a blowjob, Leia."

"What's special about that?" she retorted. "I do that all the time."

Winter burst into giggles.

"Ooh, oh – are you going to tell me what this 'everything' you do with Han is, now?" she prompted.

Leia shrugged primly. She decided to keep some details for another day, and laughed, taking a sip of wine. She sat forward to pour herself more – and top off Winter – and as she did, the chimes for the apartment signaled an arrival, and Han strode into the living room, his vest thrown over his shoulder.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw Leia pouring the wine, and frowned.

"Kriff," he muttered. "Is it that night? Sorry," he said quickly, turning to go. "I'll go bum around the _Falcon_ – " he whipped back around, smirking, and giving Winter a dark glare. "Go back to your apartment this time – my spot is my spot," he growled.

If he came home to Winter passed out, fast asleep, on top of the covers, in his spot _one more time_ –

Leia and Winter laughed, and Winter narrowed her eyes at Han, shaking her head and clicking her tongue, slow and threatening. Han narrowed his eyes at her warily, straightening up. Winter had a maddening tendency to put him on edge –

"Why're you lookin' at me like that?" he asked.

She just shook her head –

"She's a Princess of Alderaan," Winter said loftily. "You _ingrate_."

Han looked confused, and Leia sighed, continuing to pour wine.

"Let it lie, Han. Let it lie."

He considered them both a moment – suspiciously – and then nodded, retreating out of the apartment – and Leia turned to Winter, her face pink, and her eyes shining. She smirked, tipping the bottle of wine towards Winter wryly.

"Well?" she began, arching a brow. "What are you going to tell Tycho?"

Winter parted her lips, opening her mouth to respond – and Leia raised her glass to her lips, eagerly anticipating the answer – oh yes, she had missed this, she had needed this for years – just unadulterated, unabashed, shameless girl talk.

* * *

 _it's like sex and the city, but in space!_

 _-Alexandra_  
 _story #356_


	2. Blowjobs, Belt? Braids Required

_a/n: takes place around the same time as 'Forward' - so Leia and Winter are girl talkin', but they're catching us up on some things, too. y'all - these are so fun and easy to write._

* * *

 **Girl Talk**

 _"Blowjobs, Belts? Braids Required."_

* * *

Winter's apartment - Winter _and_ Tycho's apartment; the newly christened Celchu Homestead, as Winter kept wittily referring to it - was even more gorgeous decorated than it had been when Leia had first viewed it with her friend last year. Though she had seen it several times since Winter had purchased it - for a touring of it, for measurements with Winter and a decorator, just to offer a second opinion - she had not seen it since it had been furnished and made a home, in every sense of the word.

This was the first Leia was seeing of the place since Tycho and Winter had returned from their honeymoon - undertaken directly after their wedding, and the closing ceremonies at the Haven - and settled in. She had given her friend time and space to ease down from the post-wedding high, situate herself in her new reality - not only had Winter not lived with Tycho outside of her vows, she hadn't lived by herself, either; her home had always been in a palace, or an Embassy, under Organa eyes. She left it up to Winter to determine when she was able to take breath and resume their much-needed, women-only evenings, during which they discussed everything from the innocuous to the troublesome.

It took long enough that they were both itching for one of their gossip nights - but they had spent so much time together at the Haven that it wasn't too much of a test of patience to wait. The wait was worth it, Leia felt, for Winter to have her sacred time with Tycho, and to adjust to living with him - to make the apartment she was so proud of all hers - all _theirs_ \- -and then show it off in a grand presentation.

The modern, sleek style of it reflected Winter's personality and tastes so well, and Leia spent ample time fawning over it - as any best friend would. She truly did admire everything about it - it suited Winter, and she supposed it suited Tycho, though he was such an easy-going fellow, Leia doubted he had complaints about anything at all, much less the sort of carpet or all decor in his home. For the most part, Tycho Celchu seemed unbelievably besotted with Winter and still, years later, shocked at his good fortune in not only finding her again, but finding that she still harbored an interest in him - an interest strong enough to develop into what they'd committed to now.

And that was really all that Leia required out of Tycho - that he be good to, and soundly in love with, her foster sister.

She had given her royal approval to the match, after all - a fact of which she often teasingly reminded Winter.

Tonight, after the requisite tour of the premises - and plenty of lewd remarks from Winter regarding her escapades in every corner of it with her new husband - both women were settled on the luxuriously upholstered sofa in the living area. Winter's chandelier was set on a low, relaxed setting, and her holo flickered with scenes - muted - of a series they used to enjoy in their pre-teen years - they had taken a break from mocking the tastes of their adolescence to indulge in dessert, and the true purpose of of these evenings - talk, plain and simple; unfiltered, and uninhibited.

Armed with frozen sweet cream - blumfruit and vanilla flavored - Leia was eager to pick her friends' brain regarding newlywed life; Winter herself was eager to share her thoughts, and hear Leia's insights - and on that note, both of them had plenty to dig into on more than one topic -

"We haven't sat down this way in a while," Winter remarked, arching her brows thoughtfully. "We see each other daily, but there isn't always depth to the conversations we have on a regular basis - "

"Depth, or frozen cream," Leia said seriously.

Winter nodded solemnly, and pointed at hers before digging her spoon in -

"You can suit yourself, but in about an hour, I'm gonna start using wine as syrup."

Leia waved her hand gallantly - her lack of drinking did not disallow Winter from indulging.

"Where's Tycho tonight?" Leia asked.

"Watching one of the races, with his cadre," Winter answered. "He won't be back until exceptionally late - and I would find it amusing if he's been drinking, but he rarely has more than one or two ales," she explained. She shrugged. "If you stay over, he can sleep in one of my impeccably decorated guest rooms," she said slyly.

"And subject Tycho to the same frustrations Han suffers?" Leia quipped.

"It's only fair," Winter offered. "He must pay his dues - better yet, we'll send Tycho home to Han, and see if they dare do anything about it."

Leia grinned - Han was constantly annoyed, and confused, by the fact that despite there being two guest spaces in his and Leia's current home, Winter still ended up on his side of the bed if she slept over after girls' night - right in his space, effectively banishing him to the couch, or one of the other rooms - _why the hell does she sleep with you?_ \- he'd grumble, consternated - _why do you sleep together?_ \- Leia's simple answer of - _we weren't done talking_ \- was never quite satisfactory for him, and Han would just shake his head, grumbling something about women and their absurd habits - _one of these days, Princess, I'm gonna pick you up and take you with me to the guest room!_

Winter's mocking of Han was ceaseless, of course - _Why can't you sleep without her, Han? Is she your security blanket?_

"I have more sympathy for old Han now," Winter sighed, half-serious. "I'm so used to sleeping with Tycho - and I really mean just sleeping, sharing a bed with him constantly - that I was very put out when he worked an overnight shift last week and left me alone."

"Mmhm," Leia murmured. "It does become a security thing," she sighed.

"I'm also not use to having a home to myself," Winter snorted, "so being alone it is - alarming."

"This is a safe community, though, yes?" Leia asked.

"Of course. It's - Coruscant, though. One never knows."

Leia nodded - that was certainly true. She settled back against the armrest of her side of the sofa, and arched her eyebrows, poking her spoon around in her dessert to soften it up better and looking at Winter expectantly.

"So, married life," she drawled. "How is it? What are your thoughts? May I offer you sage counsel and platitudes?" she asked, deadpan.

"Hmm, no need to reiterate that we're reaching places where you are the expert," Winter retorted. She arched a brow right back. "What _is_ the number one advice you'd offer someone asking you about marriage?" she asked curiously.

Leia cocked her head, pausing thoughtfully for a moment.

"Have two 'freshers," she decided.

Winter snorted.

"Well, we've the money for that - for sharing reasons? Each get their own? Tycho and I share the master."

"Of course you do," Leia laughed, "so do Han and I - but sometimes, someone is taking up space shaving, or running late, or both of you need the sani," she trailed off.

"Seems solid," Winter agreed.

She sat back, tilting her head back and forth thoughtfully, mulling over Leia's original question. She smiled widely, using her spoon to soften her own frozen dessert as well, and then shrugged.

"It's wonderful," she said simply. "I'm happy with him, and it's everything I thought it would be, and there's something so...safe about the sacrament, you know?" Winter put her free hand to her chest, palm flat. "I respect it as much as any Alderaanian, but I never thought it was for me, when I was a teenager - but this feels so right. I know there is plenty of argument to be had for marriage as an obsolete institution, or even an aromantic one, given the legal bindings and possible pitfalls - but I feel like those legalities make it so much stronger, and so sacred," she went on, her face lighting up: "it isn't about staying together under the law - and anyone can stay together or break up, marriage or not, but something about this sort of commitment makes it harder to walk away or give up, and just knowing that reinforces how serious I was about him, to make the commitment - does that make sense?"

Winter lowered her hand, hugging her bowl to her chest.

"I don't think about things ever going sour between myself and Tycho, but with relationships outside of marriage, I think there's the tendency to think you'll break up if things go wrong, but for us - it's about 'well, we'll get through it; we promised - wanted that.'"

Leia nodded. It made perfect sense to her - she'd already made the same vows, in the same traditional ceremony.

"Also, wearing my hair unbraided in public is a plus," Winter added, less sentimental - and Leia laughed, agreeing around a mouthful of frozen cream -

"Less work," she agreed, licking her lips. "If you wake up late, you merely brush it, sweep it into a half-pulled back style - "

"So long, though," Winter groaned.

Leia's hand flew to her own shorter style, brushing at the ends temptingly.

"I'll return the favor," she offered wryly - Winter had, of course, been the first person to cut Leia's hair short, in so much as Alderaanians defined _short_. She leaned a little closer, jabbing her spoon at Winter pointedly. "It may give Tycho a thrill," she whispered.

"It gave Han one?"

"I _told_ you about this!"

"No, in your usual Leia way, you said he liked it, and then did something suggestive with your eyebrows, and refused to elaborate," Winter accused.

Leia gave a dramatic sigh.

"It was short enough that he could see my breasts when I was naked," she said - elaborating, as requested. "Not to mention there were less...literal entanglements."

Winter looked interested.

"I suppose long, loose hair would be a dramatic obstacle, in some cases."

Leia gave her a funny look.

"Surely you've experienced that," she scoffed.

Winter tilted her head, and Leia went on, prompting her: "A knee pinning some hair down, split ends getting caught in a belt buckle," she trailed off. "Winter, I know Tycho isn't the first man you've slept with," she reminded her, snickering.

"Oh, of course not," Winter said, her lips parted. "Well - I mean, he is - with my hair down," she said.

Leia drew back, startled.

"You never took your hair down when you did it?" she asked, her voice going up in a small shriek. " _Never_?"

"You think I slept with a man with my hair _unbraided_ before I was _married_?" Winter retorted, drawing back in affront. "What am I, a _harlot_?"

Leia stared at her, and then flushed, and started laughing.

"Besides," Winter squawked, talking over her indignantly, "in all those trysts in the palace, how long would it have taken me to rebraid it? What would I have done if I had to get away quick, gone dashing through Aldera with it down around my waist, and have Pasha immediately figure out what I'd been doing? I think _not_ , Leia Solo. I think not."

Leia kept laughing.

"I'm a harlot," she snorted, gesturing at her hair. "It was all over Han - and in that tiny bunk on the _Falcon_? Kriff. His mouth, nose, ears -

"And his belt buckle, did I hear? How did that happen?"

Leia bowed her head, feigning contrition.

"Suffice it to say it was not my best act of fellatio."

Winter howled with laughter, bringing her wrist to her mouth and pressing it to her lips, delighted with the anecdote.

"I take it you got loose?" she asked rhetorically, her words muffled in her hand.

"Eventually - he kept trying," Leia giggled, "to untangle me - without pulling my hair - _and_ without stopping me, so it was," she waved her hand, and furrowed her brow, mimicking Han's gruff voice, _"Hang on, Leia, be still - no, uhhh, keep moving...don't stop - hold still..."_ she broke off into laughter again, and Winter closed her eyes, holding up her hand to make it stop.

Leia quieted down, her laughter trailing off as she scooped up another bite of frozen cream. Winter shook her head, nodding her head as if making quite the serious mental note -

"Got it - blowjob, belt? Braid required."

Leia nodded somewhat solemnly, falling comfortably silent before she looked back up.

"On that note," she said warmly. "I am happy you're enjoying it so far," she said earnestly. "I liked being a newlywed."

"It's charming," Winter agreed. "Everything - our home, Tycho, the idea of our future," she sighed, smiling a little, and then her expression became pensive. "There is - ah, _one_ thing," she began, and Leia listened, watching her face. Winter seemed hesitant for a moment, almost continuing, and then switched gears, becoming more matter-of-fact, curious.

"What's the weirdest thing Han does?"

Leia tilted her head at the question, poking again at the slowly melting frozen cream in her bowl. She cocked an eyebrow at Winter.

"In general or in bed?" she asked.

Winter looked taken aback, and then skeptical.

"Would you tell me if I said bed?"

"No."

She rolled her eyes.

"In general," Winter said obediently - it was what she had meant anyway, but any chance she had to persuade -

Leia thought about it, scooping up a spoonful of the treat. She shrugged.

"I put my feet in his lap when we watch the Holo," she said, "when I'm laying down on the couch. He laces his fingers in between my toes," she decided, "like it's a hand he's holding. And he just sits there and holds my toes."

Winter frowned.

"That's not that weird, Leia."

Leia shrugged again.

"You asked."

"What's weirder is that you put your feet in his lap instead of your head. You snuggle wrong."

"If my head was in his lap, we wouldn't be watching the Holo," Leia retorted smartly. She paused: "We'd be disentangling my hair from his belt buckle after a botched blowjob," she quipped, inserting her spoon into her mouth with a coy wink.

Winter seemed to think that was an appropriate answer, and scraped the bottom of her bowl.

"What's actually weird - -two things, here," she said, trying again, "is that you admit you lay around and watch the Holo in your free time with your husband - _plebeian_ ," she accused, "and, that you told me that hilarious story about the belt buckle, but won't give me other sorts of bedroom details."

Leia cocked her head wordlessly - she'd told Winter before that Han's habits and preferences in some departments were off limits, mostly because Leia would be mortified if Han discussed her with his male friends that way, and she chose to practice the standards she expected from him. A little allusion - or funny story - now and then was - different. Winter gave her a narrow glare.

"What does Han do that's really weird, Leia?" Winter needled, her eyes glinting. "C'mon. Pick his nose?"

"All men do that."

"But does General _Han Solo_ pick his nose?"

"I haven't seen him do so," Leia muttered. She paused, wrinkling her brow. "He's," she began, frowning, "...he's not that weird at all," she said, as if just noticing. She frowned a little more, and then squinted at her dessert. An alarming thought occurred to her -

"I think I'm the weird one."

Winter gave a short shriek of laughter.

"He keeps the _Falcon_ to do all of his weird stuff there and make you think you're the weird one," she accused, snickering.

Leia glared at her.

"Why are you asking?" she demanded.

Winter's laughter faded into a soft sigh, and she leaned back, her shoulders falling as she rested her bowl on her knee. She lifted her wrist, tapping her spoon, a small wry sort of smile on her face. She started to answer seriously - and then cocked her eyebrow with interest, gearing up for one final tease.

"Why did you think I might be talking about in bed?" she asked, pursing her lips, and narrowing her eyes sharply. "How weird is he in bed?"

Leia rolled her eyes, her teeth scraping against her spoon.

"You're always talking about in bed," she muttered. "Winter," she added, griping around the cold metal, demanding a true answer.

Winter sighed again, her face relaxing.

"I just want to know that I'm not the only one who thinks being married...that my husband...that living with someone can be-odd," she confessed.

Leia smiled, tilting her head and setting her spoon down.

"You're not, of course not," she promised quietly. "Winter," she said again. "What is it, really?"

"It's nothing," Winter said honestly. "I _am_ happy, I mean that. It's that - living with someone is - radically different than what I'm used to. Living with him like this, I mean - sharing the bed, the 'fresher, the kitchen, the house - all of our stuff meshed, our lives completely entwined - I love it, but then some habits he has, or things I'm not ready for," she shrugged helplessly, "they're weird, or they rankle me - it's hard to explain."

"People have idiosyncrasies," Leia said, "they have - things that make it annoying to live with them, sometimes," she said. "Ahh, listen - Han doesn't like the way I clean dishes. He never has, he still doesn't - it irritates him," she said. She shrugged. "He still loves me. Our marriage is still happy."

"I'm not worried about the love diminishing, or the happiness dying," Winter said quietly. "It's just difficult to navigate," she said, her jaw tightening with frustration. "He'll do something - and I'm sure he feels the same way - and I think, is that normal? Am I okay with that? Can I live with him fucking _humming_ constantly while he gets ready? If I'd known about the humming, I wouldn't have done this," she broke off, snorting, "but that's not true. I'd love Ty even if he hummed through the entire wedding."

Leia listened.

"He hums?"

"He hums _so_ much, Leia," Winter groaned lightly, and then she smiled.

"Well, in this case - if by weird things Han does, you meant irritating as hell," Leia drawled, narrowing her eyes, "he talks to me while I'm brushing my teeth. I can't hear him over the sound or respond without stopping and he always does it. He asks questions that need answers and I have to spit or talk around the toothbrush," she trailed off. "That's the sort of thing you mean, right? Things that are stupid and minuscule, that you'd never thought would bother you but _they do._ "

" _Yes_ ," Winter said, emphatic and relieved. "And I start wondering if I'm crazy, or this is normal - I can't believe I didn't live with him before we married," she said, snorting. "Good on you, Leia."

"I don't know if I would have, had Han and I not been trapped together, and learned how to," she said slowly. "Anything bigger than the _Falcon_ \- after that - was a mansion compared to it, so that eased things, rather than made it difficult," she reflected. She looked up at Winter. "Perhaps I'm not the best person to talk to on the difficulties of integrating a living situation," she said. "Since Han and I had been living together, multiple times - for a while."

Winter sighed, rubbed her forehead.

"You ought to ask Father," Leia offered.

"Hmm," Winter murmured. "Well, they're royalty; that's different. He and Mama Breha had entirely separate wings in the palace - "

"They never slept apart," Leia said.

Winter equivocated, and Leia offered: "Or Carlist. He never lived with his wife before marriage."

"Did he not?"

Leia laughed.

"Are you forgetting that virtually _no one_ on Alderaan did?" she snorted. "Hence the scandalous alarm over Han in my pre-marital bedchamber."

"I think I am," Winter said softly. "So many live together outside the confines now - whether it be with spouses from other cultures, or just for safety and comfort."

"Mmhmm."

Winter shook her head.

"I can't go ask Carlist or Pasha about domestic bliss!" she scoffed.

Leia smiled, but tilted her head thoughtfully.

"Think of it this way - Mama and Father, Carlist and his wife - all the people we knew on Alderaan, they shared a home only after marriage, and they thrived," she said simply. "You know as well as I do that divorce was rarer on Alderaan than on any other planet - that says something."

"That says all Alderaanians are so polite and accommodating they don't pick fights over someone's whim to leave half-empty kaffe cups all over the place," Winter snorted.

Leia grinned.

"It's just an adjustment," she said. "Do you know what Father told me, about halfway through my first year with Han?" she asked quietly.

"What wise words did Pasha have?"

"He said - that the first year of marriage is always the hardest. And it's because you think you have it all figured out at that point, and all your fights have been had, so it all feels like failure if something isn't perfect," she shrugged, taking a bite of her frozen cream, letting it melt in her mouth as she let the words settle. "It meant a lot to me. I think he's right."

Winter tilted her head, absorbing it.

"I like that," she agreed slowly. "That feels right," she narrowed her eyes at Leia slyly - "You don't get too grown for your hairstyles, Leia; you're only on year two!" she teased.

Leia grinned at that, and Winter sighed, holding her hands up.

"He's always here. Tycho. I'm never alone. He clings to me - or, I think he thinks we're supposed to always be together - but some days, I want him not near me. I want my space. Do you ever just want your space? Want Han to be...away?" she asked earnestly.

Leia thought about it hesitantly. She swallowed hard, and chose her words carefully -

"Not really, no," she said slowly. "I...spent a lot of time alone, isolating myself. Unable to make connections. I think, because of that...I like him there. If I'm moody, he leaves me alone. He waits for me to sort it out, or come to him. But...I don't ever wish I lived alone. I want him there, in the next room. Or even if I don't feel like talking...sometimes I just want him _there,_ so I can look over and see him," she said quietly. "Know he's not going anywhere."

Winter let her spoon clang against her bowl.

"I think that's a better description of how I feel," she said. "I don't always want him to ask me what's wrong or be around me. But I want him there," she agreed. "I love him - I want him."

Winter's brow furrowed, and she sat forward, letting out a breath.

"I - wow, well maybe I just needed to tell _someone_ I'm not a natural at living in such close quarters with him," she snorted.

"It takes some getting used to," Leia agreed. "You'll be okay. You both will - he probably has some of the same gripes," she pointed out bluntly. "Ask him - but when you're both in a good mood, not when one of you is irritated about one of the idiosyncrasies."

Winter nodded firmly, standing up.

"That," she declared, "is a good plan and that is why you are the Princess," she drawled, stepping past the shoes she'd left on the floor and maneuvering around the table. Leia gave her a curious look, silently asking where she was going, and Winter answered, matter-of-fact: "I was serious about breaking out the wine - you sure you don't want any?"

Her voice faded as she went into the kitchen, and Leia frowned, tilting her head at the mushy, melted dessert. She was tempted, but shook her head all the same, declining when Winter came half-way back into the sitting room, one foot pointed backwards as if she might turn and go get another glass to go with her bottle.

"Best not," she decided, shrugging - she enjoyed wine, but found it easy to go without.

Winter nodded in understanding, and returned to take her seat, pulling a rubber cork from the already opened bottle. As she began to pour a generous glass for herself, she glanced over at Leia from the corner of her eye.

"Your turn," she decided, dismissing her issue for the time being - "Is it no wine because you _suspect_ , or in general?" she asked.

Leia shrugged.

"Han and I are trying again," she murmured. "I just - don't have any interest in the risk," she explained. "It might seem pointless, since I'll know when I'm pregnant, but alcohol isn't exactly good for you - so the cleaner my lifestyle is," she trailed off, "better."

Winter nodded again.

"It wasn't anything to do with you, though," she pointed out.

"No," Leia agreed - without saying anything else.

Winter looked at her sympathetically, and raised her glass in a small toast before leaning back and taking a sip. She knew Leia had gone through a terrible time after that miscarriage, and she'd been there to comfort and distract as needed, though she was out of her element, and unable to understand what her best friend was suffering except in the most abstract of ways. Winter smiled a little, deciding she would stick with what she was best at - and that was not waxing philosophical regarding things she had never experienced, it was -

"Trying," she quoted, and gave Leia an intensely thoughtful look. "How do you have sex when you're trying to have a baby?"

Leia blinked a few times, baffled.

"Usually with Han's penis," she fired back, deadpan. "But sometimes, I just pray."

 _"Usually,"_ Winter cackled, laughing in amusement. "No, no - I mean - you know, in what position, that kind of how."

Leia squinted at her, caught off guard by the turn the conversation had taken, and curious.

"Are you trying to get at some kind of point that I am not following?" she asked crisply. "You understand that doesn't affect conception, right? The position? My uterus is in the same place."

"Not physically, psychologically," Winter said solemnly. "I was thinking, would I _really_ want my kid to be conceived while I was bent over...I don't know, say, the Dejarik table?"

"Well, now you're just trying to find out of I've been bent over the Dejarik table," Leia said sternly.

"You're free to tell me that if you want to," Winter said innocently, and then grinned, her brow wrinkling - "I think I've always thought of categories, like - there's just ways you don't do it; there's tasteful, conception sex - "

Leia started laughing.

"- and then there's -"

"Not conception sex?" Leia supplied, snorting.

Winter shrugged, a wide grin on her face.

"I know it sounds ridiculous," she protested. "I just wondered if there's a difference."

Leia shrugged, still amused.

"There's a difference, it _feels_ different," she said frankly. "Not in that way. I don't - lie back and think of the, of the," she burst into giggles again, "of the _dynasty_ ," she laughed hoarsely, thinking of loveless, heir-driven royal marriages.

Winter gave her a mock-stern look.

"Suit yourself, Leia, but I would have some decency, if I were you, and have nice, proper, matronly sex - "

" _You_ tell Han he can only have me on my back, then. He'll cry," Leia said bluntly.

She stirred her spoon, falling silent to eat a few more bites of frozen cream - and then smiled at Winter warmly, appreciative of the jesting. Winter gave her an understanding nod, sipping her wine breezily -

"I expect you to know, when it happens," she commanded, "and tell me exactly how you were taking it when he knocks you up."

" _Winter_ ," Leia growled, jutting her foot out to kick her.

Winter snickered.

"Hey, remember that Chandrilan girl at the Diplomatic Academy who thought you could get pregnant from swallowing?"

Leia tilted her head back, closing her eyes with a groan.

"Oh, Sureena," she sighed dramatically. "Well, sex education on Chandrila is not the best," she reminded Winter, and then clicked her tongue. "Do you know how many babies I'd have?" she asked, letting out her breath suggestively.

Winter arched her brows, whistling, and rested her elbow on the back of the sofa, tapping her finger on her glass.

"I'm just settling in here, and you and Han are thinking of moving," she murmured, diverting the conversation again.

"Likely," Leia murmured.

"And he's retiring," Winter added, almost to herself. She cocked her head again, and narrowed her eyes with interest. "Hey, what's going on with Luke's lady?" she asked. "I know you said you had a heart to heart with him about it back when you were," Winter faltered for a moment -

"When I was pregnant - it's okay, Winter," Leia said calmly. "I've been okay for a while now."

Winter nodded, and then shrugged.

"Yes, that," she said. "Is there any movement? Have you thought about meeting her?" she pressed.

Leia shrugged hesitantly, her eyes on Winter.

"She's still an Imperial," she said levelly. She paused for a moment, and then bit her lip, tilting her head. "Luke says he's going to introduce her to the Naberries. Han thinks I should go meet her then, on Naboo."

Winter lifted her chin.

"What's the biggest hurdle for you?" she asked, insightful. "I understand moral conflict but...given your capacity for perspective and understanding, it seems - ahh," Winter trailed off. "It seems much of your reluctance might be about...optics."

Leia looked at her frozen cream irritably, and then leaned forward to set it aside, her spoon spinning against the rim for a moment. She took a deep breath, deciding how she wanted to answer Winter's probing inquiry.

"Yes," she said finally, her tone clipped. "I am worried about the optics. And yes," she added, flicking her eyes back to Winter, away from the abandoned dessert. "I am aware of how selfish that is."

"As long as you're aware," Winter quipped.

Leia glared at her, and Winter shrugged unapologetically.

"We've always been honest with each other," she said simply.

Leia sighed, and nodded, tilting her head back - she knew that she needed to make moves on this, and truth be told, it nettled her a little that Luke felt he had to introduce his significant other to the Naberries first. She also understood her emotions were volatile and could be hurtful if she didn't address them, feel them, sort them, before taking certain steps.

"Unbelievable as it may seem, I'm worried about the optics for _Luke's_ sake, too," she grumbled. "He was devastated by the vitriol after the Vader reveal," she pointed out.

"Hardened, too," Winter retorted fairly. She tapped her wine glass again. "Political optics are crucial. I know that. I understand that - we both do," she said, "and we orchestrate them frequently. But in this case," Winter shrugged. "Luke's not even in politics. He'll attract attention, perhaps, if people dig up the woman - what's her name?"

"Mara."

"Mara's background," Winter resumed, "and you'll get flak - but difficult as it was, the Vader backlash did not ultimately take you down. Your brother's girlfriend definitely won't."

"Former sith apprentice girlfriend," Leia said tightly. "It's more alarming in some respects than it sounds. Actually wielding the power of the Dark Side for years - "

Winter rolled her eyes a little, gritting her teeth.

"Leia, Crix Madine was a decorated Imperial officer. Can you imagine how shocked I was to find out he was a Rebel hero when I was rescued? When last I heard, he was leading the troops that massacred the entire population of Dentaal?"

She shrugged hard.

"I'll have your back in public in any situation, but in private, a friend is supposed to tell you when you're being unfair - I understand you're severe aversion to the Sith, and the Dark Side - but I think you've decided this Mara is a fair person to project all of your residual hatred and anger regarding Vader on to, since you can't do it to Luke, or the Naberries."

Winter arched an eyebrow.

"Han should probably have nudged you a bit harder about this, but he doesn't want to get booted out of your bed," she joked.

Leia sighed, her mouth shut tightly, contemplating, and Winter went on to finish her grand speech -

"At least, for once - who cares about the press? It's a romance scandal, those are harmless enough at the end of the day. If they even give a damn. Exercise the same lack of giving a shit that half of your male colleagues do - flaunting their mistresses and sex scandals and smugly suffering no repercussions."

Leia gave her a tired look.

"I don't have any interest in equality that way - if it means being afforded the same freedom to disrespect others that my male colleagues are given."

"That's very noble," Winter said. "But this is your brother."

Leia shot a look at her bowl of melted dessert, frowning.

"I do want Luke to be happy," she murmured sincerely. She whipped a glare at winter, asking facetiously: "Couldn't _you_ have married _him?_ "

"No," Winter retorted blithely. "He was absolutely terrible in bed."

Leia's eyes widened in abject alarm, and Winter threw back her head, laughing.

"I'm kidding - oh my - _god_ , the look on your face - !"

Leia thrust her foot out to kick Winter again, relaxing, her face still pink. Winter, protecting her wine form Leia's foot, twisted away neatly and continued to laugh, sitting forward. Leia shook her head, lightly furious with Winter's teasing, and wrinkled her nose at the very thought, making a face. Her laughter easing, Winter shook her head, tucking her feet under her comfortably and fading into silence.

"What do you think, Leia?" she asked.

"I don't know," Leia said honestly. She hesitated, and then confessed: "If the military leadership organizes a gala for Han's retirement, I thought I'd ask Luke to bring her to that." She frowned, her lips puckering. "And then I thought it was the most aristocratic, unpalatable thought I'd ever had," she snorted - "That's so - Aunt Rouge of me, to suggest I can only sanction a relationship, or come to terms with it, at a formal recognizing of it an event."

"I see your thoughts there, but I think it's not necessarily a bad idea," Winter said honestly. "You have your optics and politics consideration, and your mind presented you with an aggressive solution to that - start by telling the political elite and the media you don't give a fuck, and you accept Mara, and work behind the scenes on your own truth."

Leia shrugged.

"Manipulative," she said slowly, but then cocked her head, "yet, in a way, that's how I came to terms with the fact that I do want a baby, fears and possibilities be damned," she reflected.

"When that guy said something about your spawn and breeding?"

Leia bristled, and Winter scowled, shaking her head, both of them livid at the accusation. Winter held her glass out.

"So? Use their gossip, pressures, and bullshit - harness it for yourself again."

"Maybe," Leia allowed. "Or, maybe it is a good idea to meet her at the Naberries.'"

Winter arched a brow.

"Don't let Luke drag Mara to a meeting of that many people," she said darkly.

Leia blinked - that was a good point, too. Leia herself had harbored wariness about that, and she was family. Winter smiled wryly.

"It's mild, isn't it? Meeting Luke's girlfriend. It's a mild think on your list of things to do - now, and things you've faced in the past."

Leia turned to her pensively, smiling after a moment.

"I like looking at it that way," she allowed softly - better, to remember that things could be worse; that right now, Luke was happy with someone, she had Han, nothing to worry about regarding her chances of motherhood - her best friend was as happy as she was, and the New Republic thrived.

Winter poured herself some more wine, and sat back heavily, a lazy grin spreading across her face. She fixed her vision on the holo for a moment, distracted by the scenes - it was still muted - and Leia watched her, and then sat forward to grabbed the bowl she'd abandoned, licking the spoon, and then setting it aside. The frozen cream was so melted, that it was like some sort of sugary soup, and she relaxed back on Winter's sofa to eat it as such.

Without looking at her, Winter cringed.

"Gross, Leia."

"Drink your wine."

"You're right, you _are_ the weird one. Poor Han. How does he live with you?"

Leia stuck a purple-slush coated tongue out at Winter, and Winter raised her glass, a grin spreading over her face -

"Here's to our state of the union meetings - this one has addressed several points, and gone well," she decided solemnly.

"Here, here," Leia seconded.

She tilted her head back to watch the muted holo for a moment, her eyebrows going up at the somewhat scandalous scene that was beginning - it was, as always, and endless blessing that they still had these talks, still had this close female friendship to rely on, to give them strength - and more important than anything else, to make them laugh.

* * *

 _-alexandra_


	3. The Terrible Crossroad

_a/n: anthology-esque as these are, they (as you'll see) are also sort of ... exposition-y, place-holders! that being said, again, this is set after 'Forward' (the Identity tag) and will tie into 'Salute' when I write it._

* * *

 **Girl Talk**

 _"The Terrible Crossroad"_

* * *

With impeccable posture that had been bred into her – by the same regiment of proud royal aunts who had schooled the Princess – throughout years of formal training, Winter knelt on a pillow on her living room floor, head held high, eyes cast straight ahead.

In front of her was a sleek, white chrome decorative table that held a fresh bottle of wine and two glasses, as well as a smattering of snacks that accented the particular brand of wine. Behind her stood Leia, wielding shears with finger loops of carved pearl, attentively tending to Winter's hair in a familiar ritual that echoed their long-faded teenage years.

Until they had reached the requisite ages of thirteen – the age when they also began to don white, and only white – either Queen Breha, one of the royal aunts of the blood, or a specially vetted and selected stylist, had tended to their hair. Upon entering their adolescence, they had undertaken the responsibility for each other, learning the intricacies of their culture's traditional hairstyles, and receiving power over their own tresses – so long as they refrained from cutting it, of course.

Hair was important on Alderaan; there was pride in how it looked and how it was cared for, and there was pride and intimate trust in who it was shared with and when. Leia's hair, in particular, had intricate rules that governed it, due to her position as heir to the throne – and the respect for her hair was something that, for the most part, Leia had held on to even when she had strayed away from some cultural adherences.

True, she had worn it down in public prior to her marriage to Han, but more than anything that was a symbolic stunt aimed at those who had tried to marry her off; she denoted her lack of availability by loosening her braids. She had _cut_ it only to stake a claim on her own narrative, adding a unique measure to the mosaic of who she was, and how she became that woman – yet deep down, she girlishly valued the traditions regarding hair, and because of that, she had been quietly delighted to return to much of it with Winter back in her life.

Tonight, as she had many times throughout their sisterly upbringing, Leia trimmed and tended to the edges of Winter's hair, taking time to make it crisp and fresh, while livening it up with subtle layers at Winter's request – Winter, for all her interest in the dynamic and new, was still not amenable to cutting her hair short as Leia had.

Though of course, by standard human female definitions, the length Leia now maintained was not necessarily _short_.

"Is he really angry about it?" Winter ventured, keeping her head still to aid Leia's work, one of her light blonde brows ticking up with amusement.

Leia pursed her lips fondly.

"Not angry in any real way," she answered. "Mock angry. You know the kind."

"Mmhm. The way Tycho is 'angry' when I'm using all the hot water and he 'has' to share a 'fresher with me."

"That kind of angry precisely," Leia agreed, and shifted to the side, clipping up another section of Winter's sleek, icy hair. She laughed. "At least Tycho has the good manners to give an excuse. Han just barrels into the 'fresher with me. As if he got lost on the way to the kitchen."

Winter snorted, and Leia shook her head, lowering her gaze to study some split ends. Han had evidently forgotten that tonight was one of their standing girls' nights, and Leia had to admit that when she told him _'I have to go cut Winter's hair,'_ it sounded like a magnificently shallow cover-up for something else.

"Had Han planned something for tonight?" Winter asked.

"No," Leia murmured, tilting her head. "I think he's just forgotten what to do with himself when I'm not around," she reflected blithely.

"I wonder what Tycho does when I'm not around," Winter mused, starting to tilt her head. Leia pressed her fingertips firmly against Winter's temple, and guided her head back into position.

"I almost nicked your ear," Leia warned.

"I'm sorry."

Leia snapped the shears threateningly, and then went back to work, combing her fingers lightly through the next section.

"Tycho could use a haircut," Leia noted under her breath.

Winter let out a groan.

"I know. He _won't_ shave it," she whined, her lashes fluttering. "He's in some sort of facial hair contest with his cadre and he _thinks_ he has a chance of winning."

Leia sighed in sympathy.

"What can you do, though?" Winter asked mildly. "He likes how he looks with it, too," she added, "and I don't feel right nagging him to shave it – it's not as if I'll fall _out_ of love with him for the sake of the damn beard."

Leia shrugged thoughtfully.

"I once told Han I liked one of his jackets and he wore it for the next two weeks," she said. "I wasn't even trying to influence him to my preference," she went on, "so, Tycho might very well scrap the beard when the contest is over if he knows you're more dewy-eyed over him clean shaven."

Winter sat quietly for a moment, contemplating that. Then –

"You were dewy-eyed over one of Han's jackets?"

"I didn't say that," Leia muttered.

"Yes, you did."

Leia narrowed her eyes at the back of Winter's head, and then shrugged.

"Well, quite frankly, Winter, Han wears the fuck out of some of his jackets."

Winter laughed, holding up her hand for Leia to pause so she could nod her head in appreciation of the statement. She curled her fingers in, extended the pause to reach out and take a sip of wine, and then settled back, letting Leia go on.

Leia clipped up another section of hair and nudged Winter's shoulder to adjust her angle, as Winter cleared her throat –

"There's a bit of a sticking point there, though," she mumbled, hesitating. "I don't feel comfortable asking him to concede to my preference because I refused to do that for him a few weeks ago and I was very emphatic," she explained, and arched a brow. "I may have referred to my body as my personal temple."

Leia laughed under her breath.

"And Tycho asked when Rouge Organa took over your mind?" she teased.

"Something like that," Winter muttered.

"What was the issue?" Leia asked.

She unclipped a layer of Winter's hair, brushed out some of it, and then began attending to the final section, her interest piqued. Tycho and Winter didn't fight very often; their relationship was mild, and harmonious, less tumultuous than Leia's had been in its early years.

Winter seemed to think about it for a minute, and then sighed, frowning thoughtfully.

"Hmm. He wanted – actually, let me start – has Han ever asked you to wax yourself bare?"

Leia sheared off a few dead ends, stopping to blink.

"Wax my – oh," she said, promptly retuning to her work. She shook her head, and then remembered Winter couldn't see her. "No," she answered simply.

"Has he ever…you know, made a comment about hair, between your legs?"

Leia parted her lips, pausing again.

"No," she said again, lengthening the syllable this time, as if she were unsure what Winter wanted to hear. She arched a brow dryly before carefully going back to the hair on Winter's head. "He's never seemed _shocked_ it was there," she added, bemused.

Winter snorted at that, her brows going up.

"I should hope not," she said mildly. "And you've never waxed it bare of your own accord?"

Leia wrinkled her nose.

"For what purpose?"

"My sentiments exactly," Winter said, her shoulders relaxing in relief. She held out one hand. "I mean, it isn't as if I'm cultivating Kashyyyk between my legs, I've always been attentive to keeping it neat – "

"Naturally."

"—and I'm aware it's a norm on some planets to wax it, even laser it off – "

Leia stopped for a moment, resting her wrist on Winter's shoulder.

"Tycho's Alderaanian," she said. "He knows that's an uncommon practice among our women," she pointed out.

"Uncommon?" Winter quoted. "It's damn near _rare_. I've never known an Aldie woman to do it," she noted.

Leia nodded in agreement, lifting her hand slowly to return to her trimming.

"It looks girlish," she said uncomfortably. "I never understood the practice."

Winter seemed more relieved by the minute, bolstered by Leia's solidarity.

"Neither did I. Tycho – "

"He's Alderaanian," Leia reiterated, her brow furrowing again. "I can't imagine he'd demand that of you - did he spent all of his time on deployment watching _Coruscanti_ blue smut – "

"It wasn't a demand," Winter said hastily. She chewed her lip for a moment. "It seems after he lost me, he stayed away from Alderaanian women. He stayed away from any significant attachments at all."

"Professionals?" Leia asked grimly.

"No," Winter said mildly. "Flings. _Waxed_ flings, apparently."

Leia nodded. She shifted her weight, and then used her fingertips to tilt Winter's head forward just a little so she could start her finishing touches.

"He asked me if I'd consider trying it," Winter said. "He wasn't derogatory, and he made it clear he'd never expect me to keep doing it if _I_ didn't like it, too," Winter trailed off. "I suppose I took more offense than I should have," she reflected.

"How so?" Leia asked levelly.

"I called him an immature man child and made him sleep on the sofa."

Leia winced.

Winter sensed the wince, and grimaced at herself.

"In my defense, I can't help that I felt criticized," she said firmly. "I've slept with men before who were absolute ingrates about body hair, and I was quick to show them how far that attitude would get them – I didn't expect _Tycho_ to be into it."

"I can understand that," Leia murmured sincerely. She clicked her tongue. "I can't believe there are women all over the galaxy who have to roll the dice and see if they end up stripped bare with a man who thinks it's his right to have a woman waxed bare."

Winter held up one hand, indignant.

"I don't understand why he'd have any interest in having me look like a little girl," she said, exasperated. "That hair is my womanhood. It's there for a reason."

Leia finished up Winter's hair, and began combing through it with her fingers, and then a silver comb, making it shine, and massaging Winter's scalp lightly. She tilted her head back and forth, thinking, and then set her tools down, nudging Winter's back with her knee to signal she was free to move. Leia took her wine glass from the table, and collapsed back lazily on the sofa, hesitant.

"Mmmm," she murmured. "I don't know if it's _that_ perverse," she said slowly, holding up her hand for Winter's patience as Winter took her wine, and her seat, and looked at her skeptically. "I know what you mean," she justified, pursing her lips, "that's always my first thought, too," she shrugged, "but it's so commonplace outside of Alderaan, and maybe it's just an aesthetic thing for some men. I don't think it's an automatic association with…any unnatural proclivities."

Winter sighed.

"No, I don't either," she agreed grudgingly. "That wasn't fair. And I don't think that's why Tycho asked, I _don't_ ," she agreed again, nodding. "He just got used to it on the women he _was_ sleeping with – but then I get caught in this loop of, well, why are _they_ doing it? Who decided _that_ was the sexy trend, _that_ ought to be the norm? Are all of these women waxing bare because they prefer it, or because it's ingrained in the greater majority of society that not waxing is ugly, and unsatisfying to men?"

Winter arched her brows.

"Tycho merely asked me if I'd try it and I lost my mind and unloaded an Alderaanian feminist tirade on him," she hissed, incredulous – then she laughed a little, and flushed.

She shook her head.

"I mean, what would _you_ do if Han asked you to just," Winter snapped, holding her wine glass out, "wax it all off?"

"Tell him that he knows damn well long hair is a staple of my culture and then make him braid it with his tongue," Leia retorted, deadpan.

Winter arched a brow at her, and sat back, shaking her head with a wry grin and taking a long sip of wine. Leia smiled at her, leaning back against the armrest.

"I don't think it would cross Han's mind to ask," Leia said, offering a less dramatic answer. She thought about it for a moment longer, her brow furrowing a little. "Han's…never said anything negative about my body," she said slowly, wracking her brain for any incident. "If there's anything he doesn't care for, he doesn't comment on it," she said. "He's more apt to be vocal about what he likes."

Leia took a sip of her wine.

"Annoyingly vocal."

"Did you just _whine_ about your husband's constant flattery of you?"

"Well, sometimes I'm trying to get work done and Han's gotten it into his head that he's _very_ attracted to the way I hold a stylus, and the next thing I know I've got an unfinished speech and – "

"A climax? Keep complaining, Leia."

Leia smirked.

"I _have_ told him I don't particularly care for facial hair," she said, "though Han's never been one to grow beards anyway, so it's not the same predicament," she said logically.

They were both silent for a moment, and then Winter stretched one of her hands out, holding the palm up.

"I just don't want to do it," she said, "wax. So I feel like I can't tell Tycho to shave his beard for me, not if my preference is an encroachment on his autonomy."

"You're right," Leia said simply.

Winter glared at her.

"Feel free to offer some advice, some sage council, some – "

"He's just not going to get what _he_ wants in this case," Leia said flatly. "There will be another time where you don't get what _you_ want in the relationship," she offered. "But you'll be happier, because you didn't concede on this point, and _this_ point means something to you. There's no harm in that."

Winter sighs.

"It seems incongruous. Incomplete."

Leia sighed, tapping her index finger against her glass.

"That's how it goes," she murmured.

Winter lifted her hand and ran it back through her hair.

"Would you ever do it?" she asked. " _If_ Han asked you. If he said he just wanted to try it with you."

Leia chewed on her lip, wary. She didn't like the idea. Like Winter, she'd never had any desire to engage in such a practice, and it was a practice outside the norms of her upbringing.

"I don't know," she said flatly. "Unlikely," she decided. "I don't think he'd ask," she added honestly. "I'm sure Han's slept with women of both persuasions and women on a gradient in between and he's shown no aversion to the state I keep myself in," Leia shrugged. "I would think because he's a grown man and he knows better than to be squeamish about a little hair."

Winter rested her head on her palm.

"The first time he saw you naked," she asked quietly. "Were you apprehensive he'd be put off because you don't wax?"

Leia laughed hoarsely.

"I didn't give it a _second_ thought," she said. She cocked an eyebrow thoughtfully. "There was a lot going on," she murmured hesitantly. "I already knew he was attracted to me. I thought he might think I was too skinny. But that…no, didn't cross my mind."

Winter nodded.

" _That's_ the feeling I like, that I want my daughters to have, if I have daughters," she said. "I don't want them taking their clothes off and being wary that the man they're with – if they're with a man – will act like their body hair is an aberration. Stripping down with confidence and owning the way my body naturally is was one of the most powerful things I learned from matriarchal culture and," Winter paused, sighed, "for a split second, Tycho took that away from me."

Her brow furrowed.

"But I know he didn't mean that," she added slowly. She frowned, and looked up again. "I think I just wanted to have a sounding board for all of this," she admitted.

Leia nodded. She pointed to herself.

"Board here," she offered.

"Are you tired of my sounding yet?" Winter retorted, sipping her wine.

Leia grinned.

"Not on your life."

Winter compressed her lips, running her hand through her hair again.

"I might do it. I don't fucking know," she swore breezily. "I'm adventurous, right? That's my thing."

Leia made a noncommittal noise.

"What's that noise?" Winter demanded.

Leia lifted her nose loftily.

" _Are_ you the adventurous one?" she teased. "I do believe that last we checked, I have checked a box you haven't," she noted. "Unless Mr. Celchu has been granted the privilege of taking you from _behind_?"

She accented the word the same way Winter had so scandalously done during one of their precious conversations about the act.

Winter glared at her, affronted.

"No, he has not," she began, indignant.

"The title belongs to me, then," Leia bragged.

Winter lurched forward.

"You know, Your Highness, I may not sacrifice my principles for Tycho's pleasure, but I will smash them to pieces to one-up you!"

"I would expect no less," Leia snickered.

Winter arched a brow though, her eyes lighting up.

"There's an idea," she said smugly, winking at Leia. "I could offer him that in exchange for him never bringing up the waxing again."

Winter shook his head incredulously.

" _What_ has my life come to – a bald pussy or a backdoor entry? This is a monumentally _terrible_ crossroad - !" she shrieked, and Leia brought up her hand to cover her mouth, trying to avoid spitting wine all over the place at Winter's characteristic vulgarity. "Is this marriage, Leia? Is _it_?"

Struggling to quell her laughter, Leia was finally able to swallow, and she rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath, and lifting her shoulders carelessly.

"Winter, I've done things solely for Han's pleasure before, and he's done things for mine, and sometimes in the middle of all that we both get something incredible out of it we never expected," she said honestly. "Values aren't black and white issues, and you aren't _betraying_ the sisterhood if you try something with your husband in the privacy of your home!"

Winter sighed, gritting her teeth good-naturedly.

"Yes. Okay. I know that," she said firmly. "Perhaps I wanted permission granted from my sovereign," she said, feigning a bow.

Leia held up her wine glass as if it were a ceremonial sword.

"Ask it of me," she said sternly.

"Can I – _maybe_ , I haven't decided yet – wax my – "

"Don't say that word, Winter – "

"—my, um, nether regions – "

"That's almost worse."

"—at my husband's request, without betraying the matriarchy?"

Leia brought her wine glass down and gently tapped it on Winter's shoulder.

"You may."

Winter feigned a bow again, and then straightened up.

"Not going to, though," she said, narrowing her eyes.

Leia laughed.

"Wax a little design into it as a compromise," she suggested flippantly.

"The emblem of the rebel alliance?" Winter joked.

Both women dissolved into laughter, and Winter turned, reaching out to retrieve the bottle of wine to offer them both a refill. Sighing happily, she shook her head, appreciating Leia's company. Her hair swing over her shoulder and she glanced at it before shaking it back.

"Thanks for trimming that – I love the way the ends feel after a cut," she said, handing Leia the wine and watching her top off. She tilted her head. "Oh, you – I just realized you didn't demure on the wine tonight," she said.

Leia nodded, refilling only a little and setting the bottle aside.

"Started bleeding yesterday," she said mildly. "No harm."

"Ah," Winter breathed, nodding in understanding. Leia shrugged, pressing the glass against her lips. "It – happened so fast last time, yes?" Winter asked hesitantly.

Leia nodded, the bridge of her nose twitching a little.

"Scary fast," she said softly.

"Is it bothering you?" Winter asked. "You were so focused on clean living and eschewing wine regardless – "

"Mm, no," Leia answered, swift and certain. "There's a little bit of a thrill in a life without contraception, and there's no reason to stress, so _I've_ loosened up deliberately. It'll happen when it happens," she said, reflecting only briefly on hers and Han's renewed attempts at having a baby. "Han and I are in a good place. And, ah," Leia let out a breath, shaking her head, "at this point, what with us hoping to move soon, I'd rather not get pregnant until we're settled."

Winter perked up, keying in on that.

"That's right, the move! Leia! We should have done tonight at your place, a sort of – last hurrah," she protested, gesturing around her own apartment.

"My place is a wreck," Leia said dryly. "I am in a pre-moving frenzy of sorting things and wondering where I acquired things and reminiscing over things I found in storage corners," she listed. "And then Han throws his shoes and shirts into boxes that are for packing and I gripe at him about it and then somehow _we_ end up on the floor and I'm _wearing_ the shirt he threw in a packing box – "

She broke off, both of them laughing, and Winter rolled her eyes at the romance of it.

"You settled on a new place, then? The one you mentioned a month ago? You closed?" she prompted.

Leia lifted her hand.

"Decided on it," she said, amending Winter's question: "Closed? Not entirely. Han is still haggling over the price – formalities aside, it's ours."

Winter arched a brow.

"Why is he _haggling_?" she asked. "He knows you're rich enough to buy all of Coruscant, right? You're richer than most crime syndicates put together. You're -"

"I know I'm rich, Winter."

"My question stands."

Leia smirked a little.

"He likes to haggle," she said. She snorted wryly. "It gives him a hard on."

Winter burst out laughing.

" _Hard on_? Are we saying that now? Hard on?"

Leia shrugged, blushing. She grinned.

"I told him if he _really_ succeeded in bartering a significant price change on a place in the conservation sector, I'd take off work for a week – radio silence included – and go away with him."

Winter whistled.

"The kind of prize he'll work his ass off for," she noted approvingly.

"He likes to be challenged," Leia said. "He likes having me to himself, too."

"More time to knock you up."

"Yes," Leia said, with a short laugh.

Winter sat back and folded her arms, balancing her wine against her forearm. She furrowed her brow thoughtfully, tilting her head.

"I've been thinking about that lately, having a baby. I can't decide if I – we – ought to go ahead and have one ourselves. Tycho and I."

Leia was silent, unsure what Winter was asking.

"You think I should?" Winter asked, more blunt.

Leia gave her an alarmed look.

"There is no possible way I can answer that for you."

Winter shrugged, nodding.

"I – well, I want my kids to grow up with yours," she said earnestly. "I don't know if it feels right _right_ now, but I have no reservations about having kids, I want them, so," she trailed off.

Leia shook her head emphatically.

"It never feels set-in-stone, inarguably, perfectly like the right time, but don't rush," she said earnestly. "We don't have to have babies at the same time for them to grow up together. You and Tycho just got married. Don't rush," she said again, "don't rush _any_ of it."

Winter nodded thoughtfully. She fell silent, and touched her hair again, admiring Leia's work, soothed by the freshness of it. Still pensive, she looked up, her eyes scaling the walls of her home, up to the second level, oval loft that was part of the high vaulted living room.

"Your new apartment is more like this, yes?" she asked, lowering her gaze slowly. "Though with a greenhouse room?"

Leia nodded, her lips pursed lightly. She had specifically sought a place with one of Coruscant's famed greenhouse rooms, the planet's indoor, botanical wonderland of an answer to the lack of yards and parks available on a world covered and polluted by cities.

"It is similar to this in that it has two levels," Leia said, "though it's less post-modern."

"Is it strange to move?" Winter asked quietly.

"I thought it might feel strange," Leia said. "That apartment was the first place that was mine, and at the same time, the first place that was _ours,_ " she said. "It feels right to move on, though," she said. "It was a place of healing and transition that…is complete now."

Winter nodded.

"There's a lot of – affirmative charging forward, this year," she said, a little dreamily. "The opening of the Haven really set that in motion, for me. I know it was hard for you, but – "

"It _was_ a turning point," Leia agreed. She was silent for a moment. "My miscarriage was still part of the…venom, of the past," she closed her eyes briefly, taking a sip of wine. "This whole year has just been – about, um, not living anchored to the trauma of the war."

Winter smiled softly, her eyes on Leia's intently.

"That's lovely."

"It _has_ been," Leia agreed quietly – sincerely. "I feel like – Han's retirement will mark the end of an era, in a way. _That_ era."

"Speaking of that, are they going to subject him to a Gala?" Winter snorted.

"In theory," Leia said, a somewhat impish smile touching her lips. "I have intentions to influence it so that it is more…what _Han_ would enjoy. Without irritating elite feelings, of course."

Winter inclined her head in agreement.

The two women sat in silence for a moment, basking in the ease of each other's company. Winter shifted, setting aside her wine glass for a moment to play with her hair, and Leia indulged in her wine a little more than usual, content with the state of her affairs for the moment.

"Where might you and Han go, if he wins his haggling game?" Winter asked breezily, yawning mid-sentence, her words muffled as she talked through it.

Leia let her head fall back on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. She shrugged – the obvious answer was their chalet on Corellia, but perhaps they'd venture somewhere different. She didn't dwell on it – she decided she and Winter had talked enough men and marriages for the evening.

Instead, she proposed a new topic –

"What do we think about this new black lipstick trend?"

* * *

 _i'm guessing black lipstick gets a solid 'no' from the viceroy._

 _\- alexandra_


	4. Wine Cereal

a/n: another installment that sort of hints at 'Salute,' leads into it, but also strays back towards just conversation - heavier this time, though! i am offering a trigger warning, as sexual assault is briefly discussed.

* * *

 **Girl Talk**

 _"Wine Cereal"_

* * *

There was general disarray in Leia's apartment, a visual harbinger of the chaos that attended her upcoming move - yet the somewhat neatly contained mess did not hinder one of hers and Winter's 'get together and gossip' evenings. The obvious solution to having to navigate packing bins and other displaced personal materials around the Solo home was to conduct the girls' night at Winter's, but Tycho was rewiring some of the electrical systems at his wife's request, and hadn't yet finished or tidied up his work spaces, and Winter insisted she wanted to spend some last moments in Leia's so-called starter place - a sentiment Leia found endearing, and could herself appreciate. Though she felt no reluctance in leaving this place behind as she and Han navigated into the future, there was enough nostalgia here that it was pleasant, and comfortable - particularly in that it was where Winter had first met the infamous smuggler who so ruffled Bail Organa's sensibilities, back before he was Leia's husband and a warmly welcomed part of the family. It also had the distinction of being the place where their cherished girl talk moments had recommenced in the aftermath of so much loss, trauma, and miraculous recovery.

Both women, just returned from a day at the health spa that began with defensive tactical training - led by Leia's personal head of security - and ended with a fair amount of pampering in the form of facials, brow waxes, saunas, and manicures, were milling about Leia's kitchen reveling in cool air as it emanated from the open ice box. In search of refreshment, Winter rummaged through the ice box blithely, while Leia washed her hands in the sink, refraining from drying off the excess water and instead running her damp fingers through her hair to smooth the frizz a bit as she twisted it back into a loose braid.

"I can certainly afford an astronomical electric bill," Leia remarked, glancing over her shoulder, "yet that's no reason to indiscriminately waste resources."

"Yes," agreed Winter, still gazing thoughtfully into the open ice box, "my current behavior is highly antithetical to Alderaanian values - have mercy, though, Your Highness, I am suffering a deep crisis of conscience."

"Over snack choices?" Leia snorted.

"Temper your disdain," Winter replied loftily. She frowned. "I simply hesitate to unravel all the good we've done today by indulging in wine, sweets - and the like."

Leia tucked tendrils of hair behind her ears and turned the faucet off, turning and leaning against the counter. She arched a brow and eyed Winter's back skeptically.

"You _hesitate_?"

"Your emphasizes is heard, and not appreciated."

"My apologizes - _you_ hesitate?"

Winter turned and shot Leia a withering look; Leia grinned smugly.

"Decadent junk after a work out does seem a tad unproductive, you have to admit."

Leia nodded, but held up one two fingers.

"Agreed, but counterpoints," she said smoothly, ticking one finger down, "it's girls' night, thus indulgence is a given - "

"And the second?" Winter asked, nodding at Leia's remaining finger.

"We did not work out today," Leia offered, "we engaged in tactical defense training which, though certainly a physical exertion in itself, was a productive augmentation of survival skills, a necessity of life, really, rather than the optional undertaking of exercise for aesthetic purposes," she explained, "so, we are not so much _negating_ a workout as we are rewarding ourselves for the monumental undertaking of ensuring we can handle our own protection, if need be."

Winter cocked her eyebrow higher, and turned back to the ice box with a smug look.

"Convincing, and loquacious," she commented slyly. "You almost sound as if you've had political training."

Leia crossed her arms.

"There are sparkling wines in the freezer," she murmured. "They're lighter."

Winter inched closer and began to sort through them, her lips pursing.

"You have fruit?"

"Masses of it."

Tucking a bottle of sparkling wine under her arm, Winter turned, her eyes lighting up.

"Yogurt?" she asked.

Leia nodded.

"And - a, a, ah - um," Winter looked blank for a moment, then shocked at herself, and then said - "I just forgot the Basic for - " she supplied the desired word in Alderaanian.

"Blender," Leia snorted, her head tilting. "You forgot the word _blender_?"

"How often do elitist women raised in the confines of the royal family use kitchen related jargon?" retorted Winter dryly, her cheeks flushing. "I speak exclusively Alderaanian much more often than you," she reminded Leia - and Leia smirked, nodding.

"Yes, I have a blender."

"Ah," Winter said, stepping forward to hand Leia the wine and turning back to find fruit and yogurt. "Do you know how to use it?" she challenged.

Leia shrugged.

"No, not really," she said flatly. "In theory. I can follow instructions. Though I'm sure Han threw them away."

"Why would he do that?" Winter asked, appalled. "And _why_ don't you know how to use a blender?"

"Because he thinks instructions are unnecessary authority figures and he prefers to ignore them, break things, swear a lot, fix them, and insist they're working fine - so on that note, it's probably dangerous to use the blender," Leia retorted, eyes narrowing. "Do _you_ know how to use a blender?"

Winter blinked.

"Of course not," she hissed, alarmed at herself. "Tycho's the one who cooks."

 _"Han's_ the one who cooks," Leia retorted. "Han bought everything in this kitchen. Except the crystal stem tulip wine glasses."

"Funny, I thought those were exactly his style."

Leia grinned, and Winter sighed dramatically.

"I really am disappointed you can't use a blender - "

"You just admitted that you can't either!"

"Yes, but you've become much more common than I - you've slept in a cave - "

Leia started laughing, and Winter shook her head.

"Our privileged, sheltered lives have lent us not advantages in a post-War world where the lines between classes have blurred - mostly due to your dallying with, and then marrying, a commoner," she lamented, quite tongue-in-cheek.

Leia tapped her nails primly against the label of the wine bottle.

"Perhaps if a blender could fire blaster bolts at Imps, I'd have devoted some time to familiarizing myself with one," she said smoothly.

"Fair enough," Winter said, and placed yogurt back in the ice box. Choosing several kinds of tart fruits instead,, she closed the door and sidestepped to grab a couple of bowls from the cabinet, her bottom lip drawn in between her teeth. "My idea dream of a wine-infused smoothie is now dashed."

"What are you doing?" Leia asked, eyeing her warily.

Winter began transferring fruit from containers into bowls, focusing on getting a diverse mix of many in each one. She held out her hand for the wine bottle, and Leia inched forward, handing it to her with interest. Winter fumbled with the wax closure, then expectantly held it back out to Leia, who gave the cork a gentle twist with a little effortless persuasion from the Force, and popped it open.

"I love that you can do that," Winter crooned.

"Luke considers it a gross abuse of a sacred power," Leia noted, still watching Winter closely.

"Luke would be less uptight if he uncorked some alcohol with his mind once in a while," Winter joked affectionately. "Behold," she said, pouring the sparkling libation into the bowls full of fruit. "A sophisticated smoothie reduction - fruit-salad infused with fermented berries from the planet of," she took a surreptitious glance at the bottle, "Naboo - oh, Naboo! Fun!"

Leia raised an eyebrow at the creation, as the fruit shimmered under the sparkling wine, and the carbonation bubbled and sizzled quietly, releasing sweet aromas that were sufficiently mouth-watering. She flicked her eyes up at Winter through her lashes, amused at the semantics for what was really -

"This is basically cereal," she remarked.

Winter elbowed her.

"It's a fruit salad smoothie reduction with fermented - "

"It's wine cereal."

"It's at the _least_ sangria in a bowl," Winter fired back. "Sangria," she insisted. "You know, the Chandrilan staple."

Leia considered the concoction, and then reached forward to tip Winter's wrist forward a bit more, adding additional sparkling wine. She gave a small, wry smirk, and shrugged, accepting it. She fetched some ice and a ceramic bucket to keep the leftover wine cold, and then re-opened the icebox and removed a container of whipped sweet cream, dolloping some of it into each bowl - to Winter's delight - and thinking with amusement of what Han would say if he could see the improvised snack.

Come to think of it, he'd probably just be relieved she hadn't taken it upon herself to attempt to bake anything.

Winter swept her bowl into her hand, turned to hand Leia the other, and then plucked a piece of fruit from the mixture, dipping it in a little of the sweet cream and popping it in her mouth. She nodded firmly, giving Leia a serious look.

"Turns out I am an excellent chef," she announced.

"If one loosely defines cooking," Leia retorted, and balanced her bowl on her own hand. She tilted her head out of the kitchen and turned on her heel, both of them venturing lazily into the sitting room to take up residence there - likely for the rest of the night, or at least until they needed more wine. On her way to the sofa, Leia nudged aside some open, half-full boxes so that they were more tightly pressed against the wall, and chose to curl up in the corner of the sofa - settling into a cozy, well-worn nook that was Han's usual spot. Winter glanced around, before collapsing contently on the sofa, and leaning back. She placed her feet up on the centerpiece table, and closed her eyes happily.

"This never gets old," she said.

Leia nodded in agreement, drawing her foot up off the floor and propping it up so that her knee stuck up at an angle. Bending her other leg in half criss-cross, she balanced her bowl on the flat side of her other thigh.

Winter rolled her head over, picking up another piece of fruit to pop in her mouth.

"Bold nail choice, by the way," she noted, nodding down at Leia's hand. "Quite the ostentatious colour."

"Thanks. I hate it," Leia said blithely.

Is there an occasion?" Winter asked, amused - Leia had completed her manicure with a vibrant, shimmering blue lacquer - brighter and more eye-catching than she usually went for.

"It's a long story," she demurred.

Winter snorted knowingly.

"What sort of bet did you make with Han?"

"It wasn't a bet!"

"What dumb thing did he say, then?" Winter prompted slyly.

Leia blinked, her cheeks flushing.

"Long story short, he rather confidently stated that I'd never wear a nail lacquer other than something very proper."

"I _see,"_ Winter snorted.

"So, here we are," Leia sighed dramatically, waving a few of her fingers before picking up some wine-soaked fruit. She shrugged, smiled, and took a bite.

"So, now you have blue nails you hate," Winter said, mimicking Leia's tone.

"And victory over his little tirade about knowing me well enough to make definitive statements about the entire gamut of my future choices," Leia sniffed.

"Han does know you that well."

Leia fluttered her free hand pointedly.

"Or _does_ he?"

Winter giggled.

"Show him to argue with me over nail lacquer," Leia joked sternly.

"It is a charmed relationship indeed when the two in it resort to arguing about nail lacquer - how did that even start?"

Leia shrugged.

"You know, perhaps it was a dare, not an argument," she amended.

Winter smirked, and shook her head.

"I suppose I ought not to say anything," she noted. "I _am_ the woman who adjusted her grooming habits at the request of her husband."

"How was it?" Leia asked.

Winter shook her head, clicking her tongue.

"Absurd; I am never doing such a thing again," she said. "I was picking wax out of crevices for days," she said, gesturing pointedly between her legs, "everything I wore felt uncomfortable, my poor, innocent pussy was cold," Winter went on - Leia snorted into her wine fruit cereal - "it hurt, which reinforced how preposterous the idea is, and I am prepared to _swear_ I felt less clean."

"And Tycho's thoughts?" Leia asked around a piece of fruit.

"Oh, him," Winter cackled. "In that respect, I'm glad I tried it - would you believe that I come home, I'm freshly waxed bare, new lingerie, planning on blowing his damn mind, and at first, he's into it, he's so humbled and complimentary, honored I am deigning to acquiesce to his request, and so forth," Winter narrated, waving her hand - she pointed between her legs again, "he gets down there, doesn't even start before he's changed his mind - _it's not you,_ " she quoted, imitating her husband, _"I'm sorry I asked you to - it's not you, I miss you_."

Leia burst out laughing.

Winter gave a groan, nodding in agreement.

"I made him go down on me for hours," she said aggressively, "and every night until it had grown back enough to stop the infernal itching - I _made_ him sleep in that bed of his own making."

"You win some, you lose some," Leia drawled.

Winter nodded in agreement.

"I did _not_ like it," she said, "though I'm glad he saw the light," she said primly.

"Hear, hear," Leia agreed. "You've drawn him back to his native ways."

Winter sighed, closing her eyes briefly.

"I miss Alderaan," she said wistfully – she said it simply, and without any depressive or morose tone; just honest, and true. "Other worlds were always wild fun, but there was nothing like going home," she murmured.

Leia bit her lower lip, her lashes fluttering, tacit in her agreement. She nibbled her way through another piece of fruit, her tongue stinging slightly at the fizz of the wine bubbles.

"Hmm," she murmured. "Occasionally I wonder how long I would have fit in on Alderaan," she said, flicking her eyes up. "If it had survived the war. If I'd come back," she went on. Her eyebrows knit a little – "Even if the worst of things hadn't happened to me," she said. "I still wonder how long I would have fit in."

Winter opened one eye, and blew out air quietly through her lips.

"Your nature is your nature," she said simply. "Bail and Breha didn't implant discs in you and program kindness, tolerance, dignity – all those things we love so much. They taught you the concepts, and you chose them. Your _nature_ is that you chose the brighter paths, when you were aware of darker ones, _and_ when you weren't."

Leia ate another piece of fruit. She smiled softly, gratefully, and shrugged a little still – sometimes, she still wondered.

"I think it would have been sweet revenge, having Vader's flesh and blood rule the most peaceful planet amongst the systems," Winter muttered, drawing a laugh out of Leia. "You could summarily ruin his reputation. _Well_ on your way to doing that now."

Leia laughed a little louder, her shoulders relaxing. Winter grinned, and opened both of her eyes, lifting her head a little. She picked up a piece of fruit, nibbled at it, then seemed to suck much of the wine out of it before enjoying the rest of it. She chewed her lip for a moment, and then shook her head, wincing, and clearing her throat.

"I had hoped to have a bit more alcohol in my system before I brought this up," she said, half to herself, and Leia gave a wary, playful groan, slanting her eyes at Winter sideways as she anticipated what lurid subject her friend was going to bring up this time –

Winter glanced around; as if she were suspicious someone might hear – a reporter, or Han, suddenly appearing out of nowhere to invade their female space –

"Have you ever cried during sex?" she finally asked in a hushed voice.

Leia blinked, startled, and stared at her for a moment, taken aback by the question - more so because it was _Winter_ who had asked it than any other reason.

To Winter's surprise, Leia then started to laugh, a soft, skeptical laugh of disbelief, her head tilting back in amusement. Winter drew back warily, her cheeks flushing - and noticing it, not wanting Winter to think she was being made fun of, Leia reached out and grasped her hand, holding it tightly. The movement jolted her bowl, and Leia quickly steadied it so as not to make a sticky, sangria mess, and squeezed Winter's hand matter-of-factly.

She shook her head, unable to suppress the somewhat out of place, yet very self-aware, smirk on her face; she wanted to roll her eyes and snort – _Me? Of course I fucking have._

"Have I - _yes_ , several times," Leia said emphatically, biting her lip with a wince and softening her response. Her brow furrowed. "And I think there was a time in my life when I'd have been mortified to imagine such a thing happening but," she shrugged, her eyes wide, unable to see it as embarrassing or inappropriate. "Yes," she said again.

Winter looked a little alarmed, but relieved as well. She squeezed Leia's hand in return, and then wriggled out of her grip, drawing her arm back to her lap. Nodding sagely, Leia settled backwards again, and fell silent, though Leia continued to stare at her, vaguely consternated.

"Well, are you going to…elaborate?" she finally ventured, arching a brow.

Leia paused in the process of picking at her fruit. She glanced up, her expression becoming slightly guarded. She studied Winter for a moment, and then tilted her head, shaking it a bit.

"No-ooo-oo," she drawled softly, hesitating. She rested her wrist on her bowl, thoughtful. "You broached the subject," she added, "I assumed you wanted to discuss something."

"I do," Winter said edgily. "I _want_ to share experiences," she said, gesturing between them. "It's a – delicate thing, and you – I'm relieved it's happen to you, too," she trailed off a little. "I want to…I don't know, discuss," she said dryly. "See if I've had a – ridiculous episode."

Leia gave a soft shrug.

"It's not entirely uncommon for me to cry," she said, almost under her breath. She pursed her lips warily. "Winter, I don't want to talk about my moments," she offered, gently dismissive. "They're… _moments_."

Winter looked at her for a long time, and then turned her head away, staring straight ahead of her. She tilted her chin down, poking at her fruit, and then crossing her feet at the ankles.

"Leia," she breathed, and Leia flinched a little at the undercurrent of irritability in her tone. "Sometimes I feel like we'll never be as close as we used to be. There's something in the way," she muttered.

Leia compressed her lips, her heart sinking. She felt awkwardly ambushed, but Winter seemed nettled, and on edge, and she was concerned about her. She paused for a long time, considering the statement, and then answered –

"I am not required to tell you everything, Winter."

\- and it came out more defensive than she meant.

"You used to," Winter said shortly.

Leia caught her breath.

"I know," she muttered, biting her lip. She scraped her teeth along her tongue, and sighed quietly. "Some things are – different, they're," she paused. "Different."

"How?" Winter pushed edgily. "I suppose I understand when you can be reticent about the _explicit_ sexual stuff, since that encroaches on Han's privacy, too – but you feel so emotionally cold to _me_ , sometimes. Or…distant," she explained quietly, "and you didn't used to be."

Leia swallowed tensely, reaching to the side to put her bowl on the kaffe table. She rested her elbow on the back of the sofa and put her chin on her palm, staring at Winter.

"I have – some of my – things, such as what you're – asking about," she said stiffly, "are difficult. They're…very intimate."

"You know you can trust me as much as you can trust Han," Winter told her, turning her head back to meet Leia's eyes. "You trusted me with the deepest secrets before you ever met him."

Leia resisted the urge to fling her hand out violently, lest she startle Winter, or accidentally upend the bowl of fruit with a rush of powerful emotion.

"Yes, I had _such_ torrid secrets in my early teens," she retorted, lightly sarcastic. "I was a fairly innocent girl – I trust you, Winter! It isn't about trust, necessarily," she said, frustrated. "Me – crying in an intimate sexual moment is sometimes related to things I – there are things I only talk to Han about," she fumbled, "because he was there with me in the moment, or because," she broke off, taking a deep breath. "I sleep with him. I don't sleep with you – it's more intimate."

"You're closer to him because you have sex with him?" Winter asked, her eyes narrowing. "That's almost as if you're implying the most intimate, meaningful relationship a straight woman can have is with a man. You can't think that, Leia, there's – there are things men simply cannot relate to – "

"That isn't what I'm – " Leia broke off harshly, her face flushing. "You have no right to accuse me of disparaging female friendships in favor of men!"

Angrily, she took a deep breath, and then went on, quieter –

"Winter, he was the _only_ person I had for so long. So long," she emphasized. "You think Mon and I were braiding each other's hair and talking about menses and," she waved her fingers, "nail lacquer?" Leia bit her lip. "Han was all I had. I talked about everything to him. I lost you," she said, "I lost you, and Han wasn't just a lover, he was my best friend. _Is_ ," she corrected. "You both are my closest friends – but yes, there are some things I share with him that are exclusive because," she sighed, scraping her teeth across her lip, "he's Han, and he grew up around grit and he's seen me raw."

Winter compressed her lips; staring at Leia thoughtfully, quiet for a moment.

"You have me back now," she said earnestly. "I want to know your soul as closely as I used to. And sometimes I feel rejected when you won't fill me in on the gaps, emotional or physical – the things I missed, the things I need to know – it's like there are some shallow parts in our friendship where there didn't used to be any. I know it sounds as if I'm trying to say you owe me your secrets. I'm not. I just," she paused, grappling. "I mean, you and I have never really talked about the Death Star – "

"That? You want to hear about _that_?" Leia interrupted hoarsely. "You have some macabre fascination?" she snapped.

"No, that is not what I'm saying," Winter said tiredly. "I don't want you to tell me all the details of being raped," she said bitterly. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to protect me from it. From you, from your emotions. I don't want you to feel like you can't be utterly open with me."

Winter bit her lip, and took a deep breath.

"It makes _me_ feel vulnerable, too vulnerable to talk to you, in moments when I _really_ need to. I always did tell you the worst of my secrets, and my insecurities, and mistakes, and fears, and I had full confidence that you'd be as open when you needed to – so I felt safe in our shared conversations," she explained in a small voice. "I don't want to grow apart through the years because your – husband is all you need. I know how important a damn close marriage is; I have one, too, but this," she gestured between them fiercely, "is supposed to have a unique, feminine element – a different perspective."

Leia was silent, contemplating Winter's words, taking them in. She swallowed hard, residual defensiveness and irritation fading, disappearing. She understood – she understood what Winter was saying; she, too, knew that as easily as they had fallen back into their sisterly routines, there was a subtle, lurking element of – _this is not the same_ – and likely, it never would be completely, wholly _the same._

She recognized Winter's fear of growing apart, though; and she sensed in her friend a fear that Winter hadn't experienced before, and where Leia had often looked to Winter for more tangible and explicit advice regarding intimacy, Winter yielded to Leia for the emotional.

In the silence, Winter seemed to sense Leia working through her walls, and cleared her throat softly.

"When Tycho was in the flight accident a few weeks ago, it scared me," she said. "For a split second, when I was unsure if it was fatal, I felt what it would be like to lose him. I've had a few nightmares since," she murmured. "Maybe a, uh, week ago, I – we were having sex, and I ran my hand over a new scar on his hip, from the accident," she revealed, "and I started crying," she said sheepishly, turning her head sharply, " _while_ he was inside of me."

Leia nodded, listening.

"I've never done that," Winter snorted, going on. "I've never come _close_ to that – and Tycho was confused, and I was mortified," she trailed off, swallowing hard. "He handled it fine but I – I felt ridiculous."

She uncrossed her ankles, and sighed heavily.

"It makes me feel better to know you've cried during sex, too," she muttered.

Leia grit her teeth and gave Winter an honest look, shrugging helplessly.

"Winter, I have plenty of times," she assured her. She hesitated, biting the tip of her tongue lightly, and went on: "There was one time with Han, in the shower, on the _Falcon_?" She swallowed tensely. "It was all fine, and then something triggered me," she held up one hand, a dry look on her face. "I cried, I made him stop," she listed, and shook her head. "It happens."

Winter nodded, her eyes soft with understanding, lips pursed hesitantly.

"I wasn't crying because he was hurting me," she said, "or because I've had trauma in the past, I," she made a face, her eyes narrowing. "Have you ever just – cried because you," Winter winced, and considered hiding her face – "…love him?"

"Yes," Leia said softly.

Her heart tightened a little, and she reached up to brush loose strands of hair back, her jaw aching as she unclenched her teeth.

"After my miscarriage," she said carefully, "it was hard to have sex without – crying," she admitted, "only for a little while. And I've had – times when I'm so, so," she waved her hand, trying to find words, "so – happy that he's – treated me well enough, and listened to me, and respected me enough that – I feel like I have _my_ sexuality back," Leia pressed her hand to her heart. "It's hard not to get overwhelmed when you love someone what much," she said firmly.

Sitting in silence, she watched Winter relax a little, nodding, and then continued, deadpan –

"And then there are those handful of times I have cried because he is _that_ good with his tongue."

Winter blinked, taken aback, and then burst out laughing, her eyes glittering. She tilted her head back, caught off guard, but pleased with the comment. Leia broke into a shaky, smug smile.

As her laughter faded, Leia cleared her throat.

"Winter," she said honestly, "it isn't that I don't want to scandalize you. It isn't that I don't think you can handle it or – I don't know," she murmured, with a short shrug. "I got past the things I needed to get past," she said gently, "and I'm okay. When there are very dark moments I have occasionally, I need Han because – he may not have been," she paused tensely, "raped – but he's been tortured," she said, "held captive, beaten, stripped of dignity, belittled," she listed, "he relates, more deeply than you can know, in at least some capacity. You only have a theoretical understanding of the trauma, an imagining."

Leia licked her lips.

"Han directly counteracts some of the more toxic thoughts that occur when I think I've been damaged or spoiled – I don't have those thoughts so much anymore, and I need that specifically from him sometimes," she said. "It's hard to explain."

Winter nodded slowly.

"I theoretically get it," she said dryly, referencing Leia's other words. "I mean I _do_ get it. I have an ingrained, feminine understanding of what it would be like to lose autonomy like that, but no experience whatsoever, and if Han relates in the slightest, that draws you closer. I just want you to know that I am willing to be here. I am willing to listen – and I don't want us to grow apart," she said again.

Leia tilted our head.

"You know things may – will – never be quite _exactly_ the same," she said bluntly. "They have never been so with Father, or Rouge, and with you and I it's no different – but that doesn't not make our sisterhood a _lesser_ thing. I know I can tell you everything, Winter. I know that. I just don't always want to. It doesn't have much to do with you yourself."

Winter nodded, her head lolling back. She compressed her lips, humming to herself –

"I understand that perspective," she began slowly. "I – refrain from telling you about some fights I have with Ty, or some of his worse habits," she admitted, as if remembering, "because – I don't want to badmouth him in anger, and forget to tell you the good. So – I censor my life, too; marginally."

Leia nodded – and Winter sat forward, straightening up, and rubbing her neck. She pushed her own bowl out to the kaffe table as well, biting back a yawn, and glanced over at Leia sheepishly.

"I'm sorry if I – I hope I didn't say anything that rattled you," she said earnestly. "With, um, the Death Star – stuff."

Leia's lips twitched dryly.

"It takes more than that to rattle me these days," she said, "although I have been thinking of late that, considering how often it's discussed in politics and history, my inner circle ought to stop using 'the Death Star' as an ominous euphemism for my assault."

Winter gave her a grim nod, still rubbing her neck. She parted her lips, and her brow furrowed. She chewed on her lip, and then sat forward a little more, eyes on their abandoned fruit.

"Wine, let's just – finish the wine," she suggested, getting up to fetch it.

She poured them glasses – the tulip ones Leia had joked about earlier – and returned to the sofa, sitting down differently this time, mimicking Leia's position, and facing her. She started to say something, and then switched gears.

"You and Mon weren't talking about menses…" she quoted, as if just remembering it. She arched a brow. "…you talked to Han about your menses?"

Leia blinked, and then snorted – she certainly had; _multiple_ times.

"Yes. I was on that implant. He was confused about me not bleeding on the way to Bespin."

"He was conf — he _noticed_? He asked?!"

Leia giggled.

"He actually did. Casually. _'Hey when are you gonna bleed? Cause I don't have anything._ '" Leia paused, and snorted, as Winter said:

"I love your Han impression. It sounds nothing like him."

Leia stuck out her tongue before continuing:

"And then he wanted to know about the mechanics of that. I think he was afraid all the un-shed uterine blood was just lying in wait, biding its time until the implant came out and," Leia waved her hands dramatically, smirking. "You'd be surprised at how much he hears about it, now," she added, gesturing to her abdomen, "monthly bleeding becomes a hot topic when your man is trying to knock you up."

Winter cackled.

"What other girl talk things have you discussed with Han?"

"Luke's fashion choices," Leia deadpanned.

"Is Han for or against the tacky ponchos?"

"Han has been buying tacky ponchos for Luke every since he saw him wear the one Luke's Aunt Beru knit him – Han started buying them to make fun of him, but Luke always wears them, and at this point, I can't figure out if Luke is wearing them because he thinks Han is being genuine, and doesn't want to hurt him, or if Han is buying them because he's decided Luke actually looks good in them."

Winter arched her brows.

"I haven't heard a conundrum that circuitous since the Alderaanian Succession Crisis."

Leia grinned.

Winter started to take a sip of wine and then lowered her hand, her eyes wide.

"What would you have done if you _did_ bleed on the way to Bespin, and Han didn't have anything?" she asked dramatically. " _What_ if – "

Leia cringed.

"Not the 'what if' game," she requested.

"I suppose you could have fashioned the Sabacc cards into sanitary napkins, somehow," Winter went on. "Wrapped them in tissue, electrical tape them to your panties – you know, since you weren't using them to play Sabacc, like you tried to tell Pasha you were, so many moons ago."

Leia rolled her eyes.

"What else, pray tell, was I supposed to say when he asked what we were doing?"

Winter shrugged, tucking her nose into her wine glass.

"It was a dumbass thing for him to ask," she muttered.

Leia toasted to that.

"To dumb ass questions," she said, "and the Sabacc themed sanitary napkins I am now interested in patenting."

Winter nearly choked up her sparkling wine.

"And branding them as what – Princess Pads?" she retorted.

"No, they'll be branded after the appropriate card in the Sabacc deck – the Evil One," Leia said dryly.

Winter laughed again.

"There never was a better name for monthly bleeding," she said darkly, raising her glass again.

Leia smiled warmly, and leaned forward to take her bowl back, balancing it on her thigh again, and balancing her glass on the back of the sofa –

"We'll have to do this in your new place, next time," Winter said thoughtfully, looking around. "It will be a monumental affair, christening girls' night yet again – after you and Han christen the place, of course," she teased slyly.

"Every inch of it," Leia retorted boldly.

Winter whipped her head around smartly, and gave Leia a stern look.

"You'll have to let me know if you cry during any of the housewarming sex," she said loftily.

"Deal," Leia agreed seriously. "It won't be emotional crying, though – I'm bound to be in tears over all the rug burn."

Winter damn near howled with laughter, swaying her wine glass back and forth, and Leia leaned back against the sofa, a piece of fruit clasped primly between her teeth – and she was reassured despite everything that it was all as she had said a shift in the nuances of their sisterhood by no means meant they shared a lesser thing.

* * *

 _\- this is the first thing i've written/posted from my brand new laptop! praise!_  
 _\- there will only be five chapters of this anthology, so the next chapter may not appear for a while as i want it to be fitting, and a good ending!_

 _-alexandra_


	5. Lube Lozenge

_a/n: ties in to a lot of other things i'm posting right now but can be read on its own, as the rest of the anthology can!_

* * *

Girl Talk

 _"Lube Lozange"_

* * *

Leia arrived at Winter's apartment just as Tycho was heading out. They collided with each other in the doorway; he exiting, and she just about to ring the chimes. He accidentally knocked Jaina's bag off her shoulder, and then lunged forward to catch it and readjust it for her. She smiled gratefully, and he stepped back to let her in.

"Hi, Jaina," he greeted warmly, lifting his hand to wave. He raised his eyebrows in exaggerated excitement and then gave a little silly bow to her.

Jaina, clutching Leia's shirt with one hand and her teething ring with her other, smiled at him slowly and waved her hand, shaking the ring back and forth. Tycho grinned and put a hand to his chest.

"She's not screaming when she sees me anymore!" he said proudly.

Leia tilted her head to look at Jaina, rolling her eyes affectionately.

"Don't take it personally. That was _all_ men for a while," she said.

For a brief period, Jaina had taken to shrieking at the top of her lungs and hiding her face whenever she encountered a man who was not, _specifically_ , her father, uncle, or grandfather. Leia had been at her wits end trying to figure out why she was doing it, and then she'd abruptly stopped. It hadn't seemed to be a thing she was doing out of fear, either.

She just seemed to think it was… _funny_.

"That's not the _worst_ habit to have," Winter said, peering into the hall. "Men make me scream, too."

"Hey, what's with the plural, babe?" Tycho asked, pretending to be wounded.

"Well, now its just _one_ man," Winter said, disappearing back into the kitchen. "But I think maybe Jaina has a good tactic there. We should all do more screaming wordlessly at men without telling them why."

Leia laughed and hoisted Jaina up a little higher on her hip.

"Where are you off to tonight?" she asked Tycho.

He wasn't pairing up with Han for the duration of this evening's girl time; Han was reconfiguring the control panel for the _Falcon's_ auto valet. Which Jaina had somehow managed to break despite the toddler shield on it, and within the approximately sixty-seven seconds Han took his eyes off of her.

"Groom's night, actually," he said. "Winter picked tonight 'cause of that."

"Who's getting married?"

"The last of my squadron," Tycho snorted. He touched his throat, and looped his finger in the fine gold chain that he'd been wearing since his own wedding. "We're all spoken for now."

Leia leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

"Have a good time," she said. "Don't do anything Han wouldn't do," she added smartly.

Tycho snorted.

"Tycho, get out!" Winter yelled fondly from the kitchen. "Your boys already started drinking, you _putz_. Go catch up!"

Tycho wiggled his eyebrows at Leia, and slipped past her, continuing out the door. Jaina turned and looked over Leia's shoulder, keeping her hand up enthusiastically.

"Bye-bye," she said. "Bye-bye."

Walking backwards, he gave her a serious look.

"C'mon, yell at me," he joked. "For old time's sake?"

Jaina shrieked happily.

Leia winced, sliding her hand on the inner palm reader to close the door of the apartment. She ran her hand over Jaina's back and gave her a withering look.

"That's Mama's _ear_ ," she warned. "Verdict is still out on if you got those lungs from me, or Han," she murmured.

"Are you talking to yourself, or the baby?" Winter yelled.

"She talks back now, its not _weird_ ," Leia retorted.

Winter laughed.

"Go ahead and get settled in the living room, I'm just fixing a tray," Winter said, poking her head into the hall again. She held up a corked bottle of champagne. "Want this, or are you pregnant?" she joked.

Leia shook her head, and Winter nodded, ducking back in. Leia carried Jaina down the familiar hall into Winter's posh living room. She set the bag down on the floor, and let Jaina down to the floor. She stood, watching her. The two-and-a-half-year old chewed on her ring for a moment, leaning against the sofa, then turned and made a stealthy beeline for a decorative vase.

" _Nope_ ," Leia said, swiftly picking her up and placing her firmly on the sofa, sitting her back into the corner of the couch. "Not for you."

Jaina grinned at her innocently.

"Stay," Leia said, pointing a finger at her.

Jaina flopped backwards and shrugged.

"Winnie's house is not Jaina-proof," Leia told her.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Winter said, her voice louder as she came in with the tray she'd fixed.

She balanced it carefully, set it down on the table, and then grabbed the face, looking around placing it far away, up high on a shelf. She started to turn back, and saw a horrified look on Leia's face, pausing, alarmed.

"What?" she asked anxiously.

"You have to put it close to the ground, on a soft surface," Leia warned. She pointed to her temple lightly. "She can knock things off high shelves."

Winter looked incredulous.

"That's new," she said, taking the vase down. She looked around with a thoughtful frown, and then ended up placing it on an armchair, and putting a pillow in front of it. Worst-case scenario, it rolled onto the carpeted floor. "When did she start…?"

"I don't know, recently?" Leia said, exasperated. She shook her head. "She doesn't mean to. At least, I don't _think_ she does. She wants to play with something and she fixates on it and sometimes they just…fall over," Leia explained.

She sat down, her brows raised.

"Jaina-proofing is different than regular baby-proofing."

"Sounds _like_ it," Winter said.

She came close to the couch and crouched down to say hello to Jaina.

"Hi, Jainy," she said brightly.

"Hi," Jaina answered. She waved.

Winter beamed and held her hands out.

"Will you snuggle with me for girls' night?" she asked.

Jaina shrugged compliantly, and Winter swept her up, taking her spot on the couch and settling Jaina on her lap. Leia took a seat, too, sitting forward to pour a glass of champagne for herself.

"Fancy tonight," she said. She shot Winter a wry look. "Han's mad at your for inviting Jaina," she told her.

"Oh?"

"He asked who he was supposed to hang out with while she was with me."

Winter laughed.

Leia grinned, taking a deep breath and breathing in the wine's bouquet. Her brow furrowed as she watched Winter make faces at Jaina and tickle her ribs.

"Why _did_ you want me to bring her?" she asked.

Leia did not make a habit of bringing Jaina to girls' nights. Jaina was technically a girl, but she was a baby girl, and Leia tried very hard to maintain adult spaces in at least some aspects of her life. Aside from once or twice when she was a baby, and Winter had wanted to get to know her better, or Leia had been using girls' night to train herself to be away from the baby – in other words, Winter was at the Solo house, and Han was upstairs with Jaina yelling down for Leia to _calm down_ whenever she panicked about the baby – Jaina had remained with Han, or various other sitters for nights like these.

"Well," Winter said. "The champagne is because we're celebrating – you have to drink two glasses – and I asked you to bring Jaina so I can practice!" she exclaimed, her excitement nearly bubbling over.

Leia paused with her glass half to her lips.

"I have to drink…? Practice…what?" she asked, realization dawning on her even as she repeated the words. She sat up straight and widened her eyes, her brows shooting up. She waited to be told, and Winter started nodding rapidly, her eyes shining.

"I'm pregnant!" she announced. She hugged Jaina close to her, leaning down to tickle her affectionately. "I get one of these, too!" she exclaimed, pressing kisses to Jaina's cheek.

Leia squealed and jumped up, nearly flinging champagne all over the couch before she caught herself. She set the glass down hastily and lunged down to hug Winter tightly. Jaina squirmed and giggled, startled by all the loud affection, but indulgent of it.

Laughing, Leia sat back down, reaching for her glass and raising it in toast. She shook her head, narrowing her eyes.

"I'll toast you, but I can't drink two of these," she said.

"You have to," Winter pleaded. "Have one for me, _please_."

"I cannot, I am _such_ a lightweight since breastfeeding – "

"But you're not – "

"I never drink anymore!" Leia protested. She laughed again. "If I have even one and a half of these," she shook the glass pointedly, "I'll be on my _ass_ and Han will have to come pick me up!"

Winter sat forward seriously.

"Leia," she said firmly, "you know damn well that would be the best thing to happen to Han this entire week. He would be _delighted_."

Leia hesitated, her lips on the wine glass. She snorted.

"You're right," she decided – and gave Winter a look that said _maybe_ she'd relent, maybe she wouldn't.

Han _would_ find it beyond hilarious if he had to come fetch her because she had a tad more than one glass of alcohol.

"Winter, that's so exciting, I'm so happy for you!" she said, pressing a hand to her chest.

"Thanks, I _hate_ it," Winter said blithely, snickering at herself. Leia smirked – she knew how much the physical idea of pregnancy had always made Winter cringe herself into a small, uncomfortable ball of nerves. "I feel vaguely hung-over all the time."

Leia laughed.

"I didn't know you two were trying!" she said.

"I'm full of surprises!" Winter joked. She leaned forward, pretending to cover Jaina's ears. "Actually, this is kind of embarrassing – we _had_ discussed starting to try for a baby and, _ahmmm_ , well about – ten weeks ago, to be exact – we came home very drunk from an event and I haven't been using contraceptives because my hormones go haywire on it," she bit her lip, "and we found the condom we were very sure we used…in its package on the floor."

Leia stared at her in disbelief, and then burst out laughing. She took a large sip of champagne, raising her eyes to the heavens.

"For Sith's sake, Winter – good thing it's Tycho, and you're married," she chastised – like the more uptight friend in any relationship like theirs predictably would.

Winter clicked her tongue and nodded in agreement, but looked lighthearted all the same.

"Hey, it's easier to be careless when you're with the one you love," she said.

"That's true," Leia murmured.

"Mama," Jaina said.

"Ye-e- _es_?" Leia drawled.

Jaina looked at her seriously.

"I want some soos!" she said, pointing at Leia's glass. "Soos, please."

"This juice is for mommies," Leia answered.

Jaina lowered her hand and glared at her.

"Share," she growled.

Leia arched her brows.

"Winter, do you have any - ?"

"Yes, I've got apricot nectar," Winter said, standing up. She waved at Leia hastily when Leia started to stand. "I'll get it, just relax. I'm _practicing_ , remember."

"Okay," Leia agreed, leaning back. She cupped one hand around her mouth, "but that's a _toddler_ , just so you know. It doesn't come out a toddler!"

"Ahhhhh don't talk about it coming out!" Winter shouted back dramatically.

Leia snorted.

"Nectar is too sweet, can you cut it with some ice water?"

Winter answered an affirmative, and Leia reached down to get out a few more toys to have them ready for Jaina to entertain herself.

"I think I have a sippy in here – " Leia started, rummaging.

"Don't bother, I've got one," Winter said, coming back in. Jaina was happily clutching a sippy cup half full of watered down nectar in one hand, and her teether in the other. "Han left one here when he picked her up one day."

"Ahh," Leia breathed. She nodded. "Well, keep it is a congratulatory gift."

Winter settled back down, and stared suspiciously at Leia's glass.

"Drink up, Your Highness."

"I may already be drunk," Leia joked.

"Drunk," Jaina repeated around the lip of her cup.

Winter snorted.

"Right," Leia said dryly. "Another new development – she repeats everything. Upside, her pediatrician says she's unusually vocal for her age. Downside: Han has basically had to stop talking."

"Fascinating," Winter murmured, tilting her head down and ruffling Jaina's hair.

"She forgets the words a second later, though," Leia said.

Stubbornly, Jaina proved her wrong.

"Drunk," she said again.

"Jaina," Leia said sternly. "Do not remember _that_ one."

Jaina held out her nectar.

"Cup!" she said proudly.

Leia took it from her and set it aside, nodding.

"Yes. Cup! Good girl," she praised.

Jaina turned her attention to her teether, and sank back against Winter. Leia sighed, and lifted her eyes.

"You're ready for this to be your life?" she asked slyly.

"Yes, I think so," Winter said earnestly. "I'm nervous, of course, and have all sorts of fears but," she nodded swiftly. "I wanted a baby when you had one, but I sat on in for a bit. And Tycho hasn't been ready."

Leia nodded.

"You're feeling okay?" she asked. "You said you felt mildly hung-over?"

Winter sighed, stroking her hands through Jaina's hair.

"Yes, like achy and tired and irritable, and there were a few days when I had cramping."

"That's when it implants," Leia said.

"So I was told," Winter murmured. "I'm nauseous kind of vaguely, all the time, but I haven't started actually getting sick yet."

"Count your blessings," Leia said dryly. "And how's Tycho doing?"

"He's good! He's happy. Nervous, but happy. I'm sure he'll ask Han for advice. I told him he has to tell Pasha and he _freaked_ out," she laughed.

"Oh, so did Han, he'll get over it," Leia said dismissively.

"Well, Han's just scared of Bail," Winter said flippantly – at which Leia gave her a skeptical look. "For Tycho, that's his _sovereign_ , you know. I don't think he expected to have an equalizing conversation like that with him."

"Father will _cherish_ it, though," Leia said earnestly. "And you deserve having that tradition carried out with Father. He raised you, too."

Winter nodded.

"You're the first person I've told. I think we'll tell him next, and Rouge – and of course I expect you to tell Han. Then we'll keep it private for a while," she explained. "I know it's early, but I already know if it's a girl, I want her middle name to be Sheltay."

"Of course," Leia said softly. Sheltay had been Winter's mother's name.

"I want to honor my mother but I…don't love her name," Winter admitted sheepishly.

Leia snorted, and shrugged.

"Well, I feel that way about 'Bail'," she admitted.

"Because _Bail_ is the worst name on the planet," muttered Winter. "We have so many beautiful names in our language and Queen Mazicia named him _that._ Do you think she hated him?" Winter asked innocently.

"Yes," Leia answered flippantly. "No one talks about Mazicia the way they talk about _my_ mother," she noted warily. "And she reportedly told Father he had single-handedly ensured the demise of Alderaan's monarchy when he brought me home."

Leia looked bitter for a moment.

"Which, actually, was true," she muttered.

Winter sighed, shrugging.

"Well, she was fairly cruel to Rouge, too, wasn't she?"

"For reasons that have never been disclosed," Leia said.

"Add it to the list of Rouge's mysteries."

Jaina sat forward, reaching for her juice, and Leia handed it to her, letting her drink for a moment. She intercepted when Jaina tried to throw the cup, and Jaina responded with an outraged squawk, giving Leia a menacing glare.

"No good would come of you throwing that, little girl," Leia warned.

Jaina snapped her teeth at Leia.

"Daddy," she whined gloomily.

Leia put her hand to her chest, pretending to be offended. Jaina very slowly put her teether into her mouth and pouted. Winter watched the exchange gleefully, and burst into laughter, bending down to kiss Jaina's head.

"Oh, you're going to be such a _fun_ teenager," she cooed. "You're going to get in to all kind of situations and Han will have a stroke and Bail will laugh, and laugh – "

"Stop encouraging her, Winter," Leia said dryly.

Winter laughed, and kept snuggling the toddler. She cuddled Jaina closer, stroking her soft, auburn hair back. Jaina played with the teething ring, tilting her head curiously and trying it out against her sensitive gums. Her elbow propped up on the back of the sofa; Leia rested her head on her palm, watching them.

"She's so sweet," Winter murmured, still petting Jaina's hair. "Just a little darling," she said, smirking and kissing Jaina's cheek.

"She bit Han twice last night," Leia offered, having long since been disabused of the idea that Jaina was an angel.

Winter laughed.

"I'm sure he earned it," she teased. "Hmm? Didn't he?" she asked Jaina seriously.

"I've never seen Han so offended," Leia snorted.

"Well, Pasha always said you used to bite," Winter remarked. "Maybe it's genetic."

"If it is, I'm sure it's a Skywalker thing," Leia said dryly.

Jaina pulled her teething ring from her mouth and stared at it curiously with a cute frown on her face. She turned her head up, dropped it on Winter, and said something in gibberish. Winter raised her eyebrows.

"She says 'your turn,'" Leia translated. "You don't have to put that in your mouth. She won't notice."

Jaina stared at Winter expectantly, and after a moment, Winter grinned, looking up.

"How _often_ can I borrow her and practice? I have so many questions," she said eagerly. "Will I understand my baby's gibberish? Or is that a Force thing?"

"Maybe the Force enhances it," Leia said, shrugging, "but Han understands her, too. He had trouble at first, but sometimes he's faster than I am at interpreting. He's home with her more."

Winter leaned back. She rocked slightly side to side, keeping Jaina moving, and content.

"I'm going to dig _in_ now. The real raw questions," she warned. "Did you have an epidural? You did, didn't you?" she asked, brow furrowed. "I mentioned planning for one and Tycho asked me if it was safe."

Leia made a face, taking a sip of champagne.

"What does Tycho know?" she asked skeptically.

"He found out I was pregnant and started reading everything under the stars."

Leia looked aghast.

"Don't let him do _that_ ," she warned. "Han got a bunch of absurd fears into his head once before he realized he was halfway through a forum for _Twi'Lek_ babies."

She pursed her lips, and tucked her hair back, tilting her head at Jaina.

"I had one," she confirmed calmly.

"Why did you choose it?" Winter asked curiously. "Didn't midwives on Alderaan frown on it?"

Leia shrugged.

"You know how Alderaan could be," she murmured without malice. So female-centric and focused on pedastalism that it sometimes held its women to standards they may not want to meet – or considered those who wanted modern comforts to be lesser.

Leia sighed.

"I've had a lot of physical pain in my life," she admitted, wincing, "and pain…hurts, you know." She laughed a little gruffly. "I'm a strong person but," she shrugged, "I just didn't think I needed to feel excruciating pain to prove I'm a real woman or a real mother," she explains.

She'd needed as clear a head as she could have to help ease Jaina's anxiety during the whole process, and to keep her own physical strength up. Pain clouded her mind. It often triggered _worse_ pain she'd experienced. She hesitated again.

"I can have bad reactions to pain," she said. "I didn't want to associate that with Jaina."

Jaina looked up at Leia at the sound of her name.

"Mama," she said pleasantly, and jolted forward, crawling off of Winter's lap and towards Leia.

Leia caught her and hauled her into her lap.

"I didn't have a strong epidural, and I waited until the _latest_ I could, so it wouldn't slow down the contractions. And the latest is as long as you aren't laying there with half the baby's head out, which no one wants to tell you," Leia added. "Arksiah let me get it towards the very end. And I didn't have trouble with sensation; I could read Jaina and tell what I needed to do."

She hesitated, looking down and catching Jaina's eye. She glanced at Winter wryly through her lashes.

"It was _still_ hard," she said dryly. "It's like running a marathon, even if the acute pain is numbed," she explained. She arched a brow. "Not to mention the epidural _ends_ ," she snorted. "It's not like it erases the fact that you just gave birth."

Leia ruffled Jaina's hair.

"Believe me Winter, you'll still hurt," she warned with a laugh. "The first time you use the sani you will spend the next twelve hours setting a personal record for how long you can go without doing it again because," Leia widened her eyes, shaking her head. "Mayhem. May _hem_."

"Oh, good," Winter said, deadpan.

Leia nodded.

"Mmm-hmm," she said, patting Jaina's head. "The assurance we always get that it _stretches_ is a stretch of the truth," she lamented dryly. "I'd like to have a word with evolution. I could use some more elasticity."

"Are you trying to scare me?" Winter groaned.

"I'm terrorizing you. It's what older sisters do."

" _I'm_ older, Leia," Winter retorted.

"Not in terms of motherhood," Leia said loftily.

"Oh, _here_ we go," Winter sighed.

"Here go," Jaina repeated. "Heeeeere go!"

"Yes," Winter said, leaning forward and tickling her ribs. "Your Mama is mocking me."

Jaina raised one hand and opened it and closed it like a puppet. She gnawed on her teether with the other hand, and Winter sat back a little.

"I thought she had all of her teeth," she said.

"This is the last bit of teething," Leia said gratefully, relieved. "She's a little on the late side, but I'll take it."

The end of teething meant no more random sleep regression, either. Things had plateaued so well with Jaina lately, she and Han were more than ready to return to the idea of another baby.

Winter rested her own elbow on the back of the sofa.

"Obviously you know what I'm going to ask next," she said primly.

Leia gave her a look.

"Sex, after the baby?" Winter prompted, matter-of-fact.

Leia rolled her eyes good naturedly, and covered Jaina's ears with a wry smile.

"Han and I have plenty of sex," Leia said.

"Not what I mean," Winter said, cringing a little. "I mean the first time after childbirth."

Leia tilted her head, thinking about it. She smoothed her hands over Jaina's ears and then let them fall to her lap.

"I can only speak for myself," she murmured. "It was not as bad as I thought. In fact I was letting fear of how bad it would be stress me out so much I _could not_ relax, and I would say that is what initially hurt."

"Ugh, was it like losing your virginity?" Winter asked grimly. "Because when I lost mine, the guy kept telling me to _relax_ , and I thought I was relaxed, and he kept telling me he could not get anything in me, because I was so _not_ relaxed – "

Leia shook her head abruptly.

"No, it wasn't like that," she said curtly, her expression suddenly edgy.

Winter broke off, hesitating. She glanced down, and then back up.

"Leia, _that_ does not count as your first time."

"I know," she said tightly, "but it's what I think of for a _split_ second, and I hate it," she said. "I hate that even years later I don't immediately think of Han. It's _just_ a split second but it's the worst second of my life, over and over."

Winter nodded.

Leia took a deep breath, and – with a small smile, considering, _relaxed_.

"It wasn't like my first time," she said, backtracking. "That didn't hurt. It was a little – awkward and unfamiliar because Han was so slow and nervous, but it didn't _hurt_ at all. After the baby," she trailed off, thinking.

Her brow furrowed.

"You know…when you have a sore throat," she began, "and when you wake up and swallow it is miserable, but you swallow a few more times and kind of get numb to it, and you're fine all day – better if you have a lozenge?"

Winter stared at her.

"Hold on – the word swallow was just used so many times I can't think straight – yes, I think I know what you're saying. Sore throat. Unpleasant, but bearable once you get acclimated."

Leia nodded.

"It was somewhat like that," she said. "It was like that for the first few times and then it went back to normal. You need to make sure you have lube."

"Oh, is that the lozenge you mentioned in the throat metaphor?"

"Yes," Leia retorted. "You need a lube lozenge."

Winter giggled.

"Jaina is getting so many new words!" she exclaimed.

Jaina looked up from playing with her toes, and grinned shyly.

"Words," she said.

" _Shhhh_ ," Leia hushed Winter.

"What is it, six weeks, before you're healed enough?" Winter asked.

"I got the all clear at four weeks," Leia said. She shrugged. "But Han and I didn't have sex again until she," she pointed at Jaina, "was almost five months old. And Han was good about it. He went down on me a couple of times but I was just…so tired. All I really wanted to do was lay next to him."

Winter nodded.

"Han didn't get impatient?"

Leia shook her head, shrugged.

"If he did, he didn't let me find out about it," she said. "I think I tried to give him a blowjob once but he wouldn't let me."

"You _think_?"

"Winter," Leia said seriously, holding her palms up. "The first several months are a blur. It's a fog. Your memory fades into a haze and soon all you wonder if you're remembering it more tiring than it was – and _that_ is a biological trick," she said accusingly. "If it didn't become a blurry haze, no one would have another baby," she joked.

Winter grinned. She rested her temple on her knuckles and stared at Jaina for a while, smiling softly.

"Another baby," she murmured, lifting her eyes questioningly. "Is that in the stars for you?"

Leia nodded. She stroked Jaina's hair, and Jaina rested her head back on Leia's abdomen and looked up at her pleasantly, her eyes drooping. Leia hoped she'd fall asleep soon.

"Yeah, we want another one," she said. "I think when Jaina's two, we're going to go off the contraceptives again, for real."

"For real?"

Leia nodded.

"Mm-hm, I had another miscarriage last year," she said. "When Jainy was about fifteen months. And I just felt like I needed more time with her."

"Oh, Leia, I'm so sorry," Winter murmured, her brow furrowing. She hadn't known. Leia nodded, shrugging.

"It wasn't bad," Leia said honestly. "It was very early. Too early for most women to tell," she explained. "It did drive home the point that it happens more often than we think."

"I've been reading about that, and discussing it with my doctor," Winter said. "I'm still going to tell people pretty freely. If something does happen, I don't want it to be a secret."

"You'll be fine, Winter," Leia said softly.

Jaina titled sideways in Leia's lap and rolled onto her back, splaying out at a quirky angle and closing her eyes. Leia let her do her own thing.

"Does anyone else know? About last year?" Winter asked.

"Dad," Leia said.

Winter nodded.

The two women sat in silence for a moment, and Leia looked down at Jaina, shifting her a little so she'd be cozier. She looked up, hesitating, and then swallowed hard.

"I really used to resist the idea that motherhood was this hugely significant feminine experience that has unique power," she said, "but she made me feel indescribably different. About myself, about Han, about the world," Leia paused, "and I'm not saying that to imply women who haven't had a baby are lacking."

"Of _course_ you aren't," Winter scoffed.

"I just mean there _is_ something very empowering about having a baby." She tilted her head. "I'm glad you're going to have one. I can't wait to talk to you about it," she confided.

Winter lit up. She sat forward, shifting, and reaching for the bottle of champagne, coaxing Leia into accepting another glass. Leia sighed, rolled her eyes, and did so.

"I can't wait either," Winter said fiercely. "And I can't wait until this champagne you are having on my behalf, since you are _such_ a good sister, turns you into a speeder wreck – Jaina will be asleep, anyway."

Leia groaned.

"And – can we go back a little – Han was nervous? The first time you had sex? How nervous are we talking?"

"Win _ter_ ," Leia protested. She pointed at her lap, at Jaina, and gave her a look.

Winter grinned wickedly, and cocked an eyebrow in a way that implied she wasn't done. Leia smiled indulgently, and shifted Jaina again, cradling her in her lap lightly. She tilted her glass back and forth languidly, breathing in the spicy, sweet bouquet of the wine again, and for another treasured moment among millions of treasured moments, she reveled in the miracle that had brought Winter back to her against all odds.

* * *

The End

* * *

 _This is the last installment of Girl Talk!_

 _-alexandra_


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